100th Episode!

We have officially reached 100 episodes! This is an exciting and important milestone for our podcast! We had many guests, discussions, stories and amazing things shared on this podcast. For this special 100th episode, we take a break to have Jen and Hilary reflect on their time as our hosts and the amazing times they have had on this amazing Podcast.

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Can't Listen? Read the Transcription Here:

Jen: Welcome to the Parents Place podcast with Hilary and Jen.

Laura :Hello and welcome to The Family Places Parents Place Podcast. This is Laura Seeger, I am your host for the day. I am here with our guest, Jen Daly and Hilary, and she's going to, we if you haven't noticed , I am not the normal host. We are doing a special 100th anniversary episode where we are interviewing our hosts.

Hilary: So guys, first of all, hold on. We made it to 100!

Laura: You thought of a hundred different ideas

Hilary: This is a big deal!

Laura: You've had over 100 different people come in here and squat in your sweat box.

Hilary

We're basically like celebrities at this point.

Laura: I mean,

Jen: Like in Cache County maybe.

Laura: Didn't you say you? Let's, let's start with that. Like, where has the podcast been? Listen to who's listening to the podcast, would you say?

Jen: Well, let's see, I think the majority is in Utah. And then we have places throughout, like California and Wyoming and that are up there as well. But then we're listening to the last one that just came up with South Africa. Now we have South Africa, there's that South Korea , there's Russia , there's lots of other places.

Laura: So that's cool. Well, and it's cool because like for me, when I listen and there's something like a topic that's really inspiring, I share it on social media or with my family, like you a listen to this!

Jen: Well isn’t that every episode?

Laura: Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, obviously some people don't need to hear about potty training, you know, I mean, we maybe could have used it, you know, years ago when we went through that disaster. Ok, what motivated you to start the podcast?

Jen: It was well, I've been wanting to do a podcast for years, and I never had the go ahead and then COVID hit and we had to figure out a way to continue to get parenting education out there for people, especially during that hard time of COVID. And so that's when it started October 5th of 2020.

Hilary: I never wanted to be on a podcast.

Laura: You didn’t?

Jen: She dragged me kicking and screaming.

Laura: Weren’t you're like one of the first episodes.

Hilary: Yes, I was the very first episode

Laura: That's what I thought. You've been here since the beginning, Hilary . You don't have a choice.

Hilary: But nowhere in my head was like, Huh, I should do a podcast. That sounds real sweet.

Laura: That's funny.

Jen: It is kind of sweet, though, isn't it?

Hilary: I mean, I tell you, I’m a celebrity now.

Laura: People, people will recognize your laugh and your voice aren't just in the valley.

Hilary: For better or worse, we’ll see.

Laura: Ok, OK, so you've been doing this podcast 100 episodes? What have you found to be the most challenging part of doing a podcast , would you say? And this is a kind of a tough question, maybe because I'm sure there's different answers.

Hilary: I, there are times where I'm interviewing someone. And I have a question, and I want to say, OK , off the record, let's hurry in and unrecord this because.

Laughter

Hilary: I just want to know a little bit more

Laura: You’re like pause, time out.

Hilary: I just don’t know if anyone else wants to hear this.

Laura: You’re like this, this is TMI guys, we are not going there.

Hilary: But I think so many people have such intriguing stories that I'm like, I need to hear more of this. I want to hear more, I want more. I feel connected to you in a way that I wasn't planning on and it's hard to keep it at a short period of time. Sticking to the typical subject or what the pre-planned subject was. I think sometimes people open up about their experiences and their lives, and I'm like, OK , I want this to go a very different path because there's so much to cover.

Laura: Well, and I've been listening . I did a little homework, but your resiliency, the one episodes, those are so amazing. I personally like every time I listen, I'm like, I think my heart just like, felt it in a deep like Krista says the feels!

Hilary: But really, the times like there are multiple times on a podcast episode where I will say, I wish we could keep talking, or there are other topics that I want to share with you in the future. And every time I legitimately asked about it, because in my head, I'm thinking of this person to come back to discuss this, this and this, and we're not done yet. I know there's so much more.

Laura: There's so much you can learn. It's insane. How about you Jen?

Jen: I don’t know. I think I'm with the most chatty, loud people right now.

For me to get a word in edgewise, it is going to be hard.

Hilary: We’ll reign it in. (Laughter)

Laura: And Hey, I directly asked you this, so I'm trying. I wrote down on my phone, “Listen, listen, listen”, you're my witnesses.

Jen: What's the hardest thing for me? Oh, my goodness. I don't feel like anything's been really hard, but I have to agree with wanting more information or maybe keeping the episodes in that 30-minute range because we all have lives, we get busy so short and sweet. So, I do want some them to go on for a while longer. Yeah, because either they're just sharing amazing information or it is their story, and I don't want to be rude to cutting off their story. So yeah, I think that's probably the hardest

Laura: I could see that. That's yeah, OK. I need to know about something. Jen,

Hilary: Yeah, direct it to her.

Laura: Yeah. So tell me about “Nay Nay”

Jen: Have I said “Nay Nay” on the podcast?

Laura: You did! someone, Christina, I was talking with he, but she's like, I love when she says, “Nay nay” and I was like, I've never heard her say that. So, and then I was listening. And then you said I wanted the podcast episodes. You're like, Oh, nay nay. So, tell me, where did this come from?

Jen: I don't know. It's just no no, but its nay nay

Hilary: But in a fancy way.

Jen: Yeah in a fancy way.

Hilary: That is when her inner diva comes out

Laura: Her alter ego. Oh no you didn’t! Nay nay! You sassy, sassy. OK. So. You, too, have you've introduced Hilary, but I don't think we've ever introduced you.

Jen: Oh sure you have! The very first episode, when everyone,

Hilary: That was a hundred episodes ago.

Jen: That’s true.

Hilary: We got to do it again.

Jen: I like Oreos with water.

Laura: That's so gross. Okay. Question here. What is something that your co-host doesn't know about you?

Hilary: You got to understand, how long we work together?

Jen: Well, I've been 18 years, so you're a year after me, so you're 16, 17 year. So what you

Hilary: Yeah, we’ve been in this gig for awhile.

Jen: I think, I can't. That is one I'll have to think of. I don't know what Hilary knows. And that's I mean, you're not just supposed to share your whole life. Apparently Hilary does or something.

Laura: (Laughter) She knows all your dirty laundry.

Jen: She probably doesn't know that I tried smoking when I was a teen. But I was so cool, I can see that.

Hilary: I can see that.

Jen: And I remember getting my mom's like, I smell like cigarette smoke. And luckily, I had a friend that her mother smoked. So I'm like, Oh, I was just over so-and-so's house.

Laura: This is confessions over here. It’s very good.

Hilary: Did she believe it?

Jen: Yeah, yeah, I think even back then.

Hilary: Momma, don’t even believe Jen again. She’s a liar

Laura: Does she listen to this? Cause she might be like, “Oh my gosh!”.

Jen : No, my family doesn’t listen to this.

Laura: Ok good cause they may be like, “What!”

Jen: No they are like. Jen on the podcast. It's a scary thing to hear.

Laura: How about you? Hilary, can you think of anything?

Jen: Oh I know a lot about Hilary

Hilary: I'm kind of afraid of the dark . Did you not know that?

Jen: No, I didn’t.

Hilary: I am a big-time wuss when it comes to the dark.

Laura: Me too.

Hilary: I still am the kind of person that will walk down the stairs and then turn off the light and run back up the stairs so the ghost doesn’t get you

Laura: Oh yeah! Do you ever walk across the wall, like with you back against the wall? Because I like having something behind me so I know no one’s going to sneak up on me.

Hilary: And the beauty of having kids now as I can be like “Easton, will you go downstairs and grab this for me?” That way if the ghosts get him they don't get me and I'll be OK.

Jen: You send your child into the darkness for you

Laura: Lovely, Lovely, And that’s what children are for, right ? To do stuff for us.

Hilary: It’s fine, it’s fin. He is faster than me at this point so he could run away quicker.

Jen: We used to tell my mom, you just had us for a tax write off. So now, you know, it's a tax write off and for safety purposes

Hilary: I do, I want to embrace the dark because there's beauty . I get it . But I swear like it's scary.

Laura: It’s the unknown, the unknown. You know the fact that you, I don't remember where, but someone where they're like, that when you don't know what it is, it's infinite possibilities of what it could be because it's not limited. And so our imaginations are very.

Jen: You know, put my feet outside of the covers for that reason. Because if I'm under a blanket, no one can see me.

Laura: Exactly I still,

Hilary: It doesn’t matter how hot you are, you cannot put them out there!

Laura:(Laughter) Oh my goodness we could talk about fears for a long time

Jen: They are always covered. murderers, ghost, whatever. They can’t see you if you are under a blanket.

Hilary: It's good to know.

Laura: Hey, podcasters remember that. Well, OK, so this is another question that I was thinking about because you two have been working with this for a long time, and I was wondering who inspires you and who inspired maybe who inspired you to get into parenting and education? But who inspires you right now?

Hilary: Um, I'll be honest.

Laura: OK, that's good, we want that.

Hilary: It's, I remember, and Jen knows this because we've talked about this before. I remember when I was in high school and you had the career, you know, trainings and whatnot. And they kind of, based on your grades and your skills, attempted to guide you to what profession would work best for you.

Laura: I was supposed to be a woodworker. Oh no, no, no, no. I was supposed to take old furniture and like.

Hilary: Wow, that's real specific.

Laura: Yeah, I don't know. It was the weirdest thing.

Hilary: Goodness. Build me a chair. Let’s see how you do.

Laura: No, I can't. I don't know why it even was on my list.

Hilary: That's amazing. Anyways, I was supposed to go into mathematics. That was like my skill set.

Jen: You’re good at math?

Hilary: I was at some point.

Laura: Look at all this you're learning about Hilary. She's afraid of the dark. She good at math

Hilary: They told me to do something in the field of mathematics.

Jen: Weren’t you the one who said, “I can’t help my son with his math homework?

Hilary: Somehow, I got a lot dumber over the years. But when I was 17, I was real sure.

Laura: That's because you hadn't had any kids yet.

Hilary: It's true. And the ghost hadn’t gotten me yet. But that's where they told me to go and I was like, Oh yeah, right, this seems like the stupidest thing ever. But I remember in college still not knowing where I should go, and I I've told them before. It was sheer luck that I ended up here. Like it was literally like someone put a blindfold on me and spun me around and said, Pick, pick a college. And I was like, Well, I like family, so I should learn about family life. And here I am. And the person that stunned me was divine because they picked the perfect place for me. Like, literally, I feel like this is where I should. This is my skill set. This is where I should be. It's just ironic that that's how I ended up getting here. But, but honestly, this is going to sound real cliché, but I really think the clients that we work with are truly an inspiration because you see where they're coming from, you see their childhood and how they grow up and what they did and their resiliency.

Laura: That's crazy. Oh my goodness. Ooh, I got chills. Well , because I would agree with you. I have. Oh, I can't even tell you because I would. I would work the front desk to help and the children that would come with and I had knew a little bit about their background and to see them come in and just be so loving and accepting. And oh yeah.

Jen: So, who was inspiring back then? It must have been because I originally went to school to be a secondary and history teacher.

Laura: Interesting. You be good at that, though!

Jen: I love history. Yeah, I do. I learned in my first history class that I love to watch and learn about history. I don't want to memorize that is not my cup of tea.

Laura: You know what to get up and do dog and pony show for a bunch of teenagers?

Jen: Well, I could have done that, but I didn’t want to learn,

Hilary: All the dates and the years.

Jen: Yeah. There this is when the dark ages to this time at this time, I didn't want to learn all that and. then I was in one of my elective and our former executive director, I think it was her or it was another one that was too long before things came in and I'm like, That's the place I need to work . And so when I got time to do my internship, there was normally they hand you this big three ring binder and said, Here choose? And I'm like, Oh no. I already know where I want to go. I want to go to the family place. And so that is where it first started. So I guess they've been here nineteen years with my internship.

Laura: Don't forget that internship,

Jen: But now, I think what inspires me is. I think I had a fairly like when I think back on my childhood, I think I had a pretty darn good life. You know my point I made I know I didn't tell my parents or obviously. But I want other people to be able to look back and say it's pretty darn good childhood or I had a really hard childhood could. But this crazy lady came in and taught her some skills, and we were we were able to make some change. Yeah, it's changed. Is probably the thing that inspires me. I hate change for myself, but I love to see it in other people.

Laura: Yeah. Well, and it's inspiring to be a part of that and see people's lives get better. And even if you're lucky how yours changed in the process, whether we wanted to or not. You know, I think when we truly are impacted by others, we are never the same afterwards. So it's just no choice whether we want it or not. So, I think that's that vulnerability like for Brené Brown always talks about,

Jen: You know, I won my first clients. She had a 10-year-old and she just had. Such a hand on him, like she had to do everything for him. She picked out his clothes. She did his hair, because she didn't want him to be bullied, which is totally understandable. But it was also driving her crazy. So nine months, I had been telling her to get an alarm clock and give him a list of things that he can do because he's ten. And he probably wants some of that independence as well. Nine months, she really said I got an alarm clock and I was done. I said, I have done it. I am done. That was l like the greatest accomplishment just to buy that alarm clock . And then she I remember when I left, she wrote, and she said. On an evaluation, she fell down on me, she said, you have planted so many seeds and they will grow when they're ready to grow.

Laura: Oh my gosh. Oh, knew we'd get deep, but that's amazing.

Jen: I will never forget her.

Laura: Wow. Yeah. It just makes me think of a little boy that had come in and he was so shy and he was hiding behind his mom and he'd gone through some pretty bad trauma. And like I just being my bubbly self, I was like, Hey , how you doing? By the end, he was like giving me gifts and always talking to me, and it's just amazing how you can. Once you build that trusting relationship, you can grow together. I mean, that's the thing. I think when I was fresh in college, I didn't realize how much I would change, how much these people would teach me because I didn't know anything. They were the experts in everything, and I'm just like, Oh, I'm an idiot, what am I doing here? So I wanted to ask you guys about some funny moments in the podcast like, what's an if you can remember things back up like something funny that happened when you were doing a recording?

Hilary: Well, just barely. Jen didn't realize whether or not we had the microphone on. Luckily, we did!

Jen: That’s a good thing

Hilary: That tends to happen quite a bit

Jen: Where we've been talking for 20 minutes, it's like nothing was recorded.

Laura: Oh no!

Hilary: We are literally done with this episode, and Jen’s like, “I don’t think I plugged the microphones in”.

Laura: Oh my goodness! Well any bloopers or anything like that?

Jen: Oh my heavnes, Sara Hendricks was our previous guest host, she had a whole like audio file of me on bloopers.

Hilary: Nice, nice.

Laura: I wish that we had this so we could share some funny ones.

Jen: There was one that I it just came out in gibberish. It was like (gibberish noise).

Laura: Good job Jen, good job.

Jen: That when I mess up , when I'm like saying something and all of a sudden

Hilary: And we say, edit this out. And she didn't edit it out.

Jen: Oh she did edited it out but then she just kept it for her own.

Laura: Oh so she would edit it out and put it in the file so could giggle at you later.

Hilary: I want her compile them all and make like a 5 minute reel of just you messing up

Jen: It would be a lot of me saying, oh fart knockers! I forgot what I was going to say.

Laura: We're breaking the fourth wall here. This is behind the scenes . So I wanted to ask too, Where do you see the podcast going? Like, what do you see for the future of the podcast? I know you started this resiliency stories, and I know you're doing that. But ask anything questions, ask away. So what is what I mean? What else do you think you're going to

Jen: I really like the set-up of having planned every week? That's something different, and I think I've just come from knowledge and our little MarLyn, and that puts all the episodes together and does all the editing and everything , and for the future, I want to be on the Frickin Today show. And say You know, you're a podcast is so awesome, Jen come on the Today Show

Hilary: Let’s start with Utah and then move up from there. That bar is set a little high.

Laura: Hey bucket list included hosting a podcast. You never know. You never know.

Jen: I seriously don't want this to ever end.

Laura: No, no. It's amazing.

Jen: I really like doing the podcast. I don't know if I have like an end destination of where I want to be. You just want to know that I'm helping people. That is what I wanted to do my whole careers.

Laura: And you guys talked about how you wanted to keep learning. That curiosity is, I think, what drives the podcast because you're like Yeah, we know, but we don't know everything. So, let's talk to a therapist. Let's talk to a person that understands finances or whatever it is that you guys are working on to help us as parents.

Hilary: And I think that that is where that is. I think that's honestly where we're finding the successes. Initially, when we started this podcast, we were having mostly our colleagues on the podcast, which obviously we have the best colleagues here and knowledgeable staff. And we had some great episodes. But I really think when we expanded it into our episodes and resiliency where we were just getting community members right. Or we were reaching out to other, you know, to local law enforcement. The agencies and reaching out to communities, not I mean, we've had people even outside of Utah that have been able to be on the podcast. And I think just reaching outside of our comfort zone of our colleagues has really expanded what we've learned.

Laura: Yeah, I would agree. It's definitely the more people. Well, and I have this, like in my mind, everyone has a story. I don't know where I think I heard this from. Some show that there were like going around asking people their stories. Everybody's got an interesting story to tell about their life or about something they know. And so that's the cool thing is like, you guys are taking that and applying it to parenting and like, you know, it's really cool and it's really fun for me. Like, I was telling Brandy, who's been on it a couple of times how impactful her episode on energy was for me because I had been trained many times because I was explaining how. But when you did it, there was something else that clicked, and it was the fact that it's is it effective? And I've never thought to ask that, but it made perfect sense because it's like my kids are high energy at bedtime, bouncing on their beds. They're happy, but it's not effective.

Hilary: Like, well, we just recently had a dermatologist here to talk about acne, and that is a topic that I would have never thought to have on the podcast. But you know that there's a parent out there with their teen who's currently struggling, and when they saw that topic, they were like, Yes! Finally! So, I love that because all these outside perspectives are giving us so many more topics that I wouldn't have ever even crossed my mind for.

Laura: Absolutely. Yeah. OK. So talking about parenting, what do you to feel like is the hardest part about parenting in your minds after all these years of research and your own parenting, and also just all of this? What do you feel like is probably some of the hardest stuff about being a parent?

Hilary: So we've I think I've mentioned this before on the podcast, but it's funny because when you go into the field of family life, family, human development, you kind of get this mindset that you're prepared to be a parent. You know all the things since you had years and years of studying and preparing for this. So I will be ideally the best parent on the planet. And I'll tell you, there are a lot of things that threw me for a loop when having kids. But one of the things that I didn't expect at all is how much I would stress out about everything and everything. Are my kids healthy or are they happy? Do they have friends, or are they being a good friend?

Laura: Did they eat lunch?

Hilary: Exactly And I did not realize how much of my time would be consumed, worrying about them. Little things, big things, everything.

Laura: One word consumes energy like crazy. So that's why, honestly, I think that's a huge part of why parents are so exhausted. We worry ourselves into a tizzy where we're just like, I'm going, I can't keep my eyes open and it's eight o'clock at night.

Hilary: And I'm sitting in my bed still stressing about something that for me, a lot of it is I have no control over or I can't do anything about. I feel like that is my biggest stress is when I consume so much of my energy on things that I can't control or that really I shouldn't be controlling that it's something that my child really should be able to handle themselves. But I still let myself in there because I like to have the reigns on the situation.

Laura: And I think a lot of parents feel that way. They just feel embarrassed to say that they feel like, you know, I shouldn't be worried or I shouldn't be tired. I should have all this energy. I should be able to blah blah blah blah all those shoulds. How are you, Jen?

Hilary: Well, she is perfect.

Laura: You know, you're funny.

Jen: I am not perfect in anyway. I know where to go for the information. And I am able to apply it once or twice. But consistency is probably the hardest thing for me.

Laura: That is the thing that I struggle with the of my heart. The most is when I lose control or what I and I just feel so much guilt and then it just makes it worse.

Jen: This is a super hard and I think. The other part. I mean, becoming a step mom was like super life changing , because now I have this little. She was nine at the time, she's 16 now and I'm like, I. So I remember when we first got married and I was like, this bystander in her mind, they didn't say anything because I really believed on creating that relationship with her first. I sat through the step family class so many times.

Laura: I was going to say, someone has been to step-parenting class.

Jen: And I did so many things wrong. And then I put it on myself, as you should know more. Yeah, you should be OK because you have all of the answers and the colleagues to help you. And that is part of why I am like at the end of, I'm sure, pretty much almost every episode and I remind people to be kind to myself because we're all in this silly, not silly, crazy parenting and life and far too hard on ourselves. But I need to learn that. So, I mean, I still am hard.

Hilary: So maybe you feel the same way because I know for myself, I mean, I've taught oodles of parenting courses and workshops and done a lot of different speaking engagements, and I will stand up in front of a bunch of strangers any day to give them a parenting workshop. The crowd that I that I would pick last out of any group to present to is a group of people that I know. Because they know me and they know my kids. And I know they’re not thinking this, but in my head, I’m think that they’re thinking, what is she doing up there. She is not the person to be talking about this. I’ve seen her in action. Her kids, they’ve been over to me house. I and know that they are not thinking that but that is what is going on in my head and my own insecurities. So that is the hardest group of people that I have to teach, is people that I know. That personally know me and my family.

Laura: Yeah. On the flip end of that, when I first started working here, I'll serve 10 story. I was still pretty young mom-ish and one of the things that when. The validation of like, it's OK, you're going to make mistakes. Guess what, I'm imperfect, you're imperfect and I'm like, Oh my gosh, she's an expert. If she has mistaken, I'm OK, I can be OK, it's going to be OK. So that's what we as the audience member, we're always like, Wow, if they're not perfect, that's OK, because that means I don't have to be perfect. That's my opinion. Honest to goodness. Swear it on any Bible.

Jen: I think it's the truth. I mean, none of us are perfect.

Laura: No and we are hardest ourselves, I think as parents. And that's also a really, really, really hard thing.

Jen: And I do have to say I've seen Hilary parent when she brings her kids in her room for how old your old is now 11, 12? One thing her she may make mistakes, but she pretty much is perfect

Hilary: I've said it before, haha.

Jen: One thing her kids will never have to wonder if she loves them. Yeah, I mean, I see her with her kids. And then, like, they will never wonder if their mom loves them

Laura: That is such an incredible feeling. And from a person who has survived different experiences. Having that relationship with your kids like I was because I was again, I was listening to your podcast and I was like, talking to my son is like, Milo, do you know that I love you? He's like, Yep, he’s like, I love you too. And I was just like, Don't cry, don't cry. But it's just like that that that confidence that there's a that relationship the base, right? And I think that if anything else, that's what we like teach here at the Family Place. More than anything is it's all about the A, attachment

Jen: So, I gave you a compliment. You need to give me a compliment.

Laura: Well, how would a bit like how do you feel like as far as that connection? Like how do you feel like you've established that? I mean, I'm sure it's not one thing, but like. What do you think about that? I guess,

Hilary: Well let's see it being my perfect self. You know what, I credit my family because we are a family that grew up having fun and I am the type of person, Jen can agree with me on this. I can be very immature. I can act a little bit childish from time to time? I have my places where I need to be mature. And yeah, but I am a person that likes to have fun and I am OK . It was funny because just last night my husband was working with his youth group outside of our house and they he had pulled out our big giant slip and slide that we have that size. And I was inside trying to get some work done, and I'm looking out the window thinking, I want to go on the slip n slide, that looks like more fun.” But you know what? I like to have fun, and I hope that that that my kids see that, but that there are times where we need to be serious and we need to get our work done and we need to do all the things. But you know what? There's also times we can throw that stuff out the window. You can have a good time. There is just a few days ago. Then it was pouring rain in Utah, which doesn't happen very often in August, and we had big plans to go swimming and my kids were really bummed out about it . And so what did we do instead? We hopped in our swimming pool anyway in the pouring rain. It was so cold! and my kids were having the time of their lives and my husband and myself, we made sure it wasn't lightning during that time. But I always try to remind myself, You know what? You're an adult, you're a parent. But you can also have fun to know if they're on the slip and slide. By golly, get on the slip n slide with them.

Laura: I agree with that.

Jen: Yeah well it just rejuvenates you. I mean this is a great modulation tool.

Laura: That's the absolute opposite of that anxiety and that stress that mindfulness, because kids are the most mindful creatures on the Earth, right? That kind of leads into my next question, which is what is the best part about being a parent to in your guys minds?

Hilary: I love seeing my kids do hard things. I've talked about my it was funny. I have a I have a cute little nephew, 18 year old nephew, and we have a really good relationship. And one day he asked me, he's like, Hilary, who's your favorite kid? And I'm like, Parker, parents don't answer questions like that. He's like, Oh, really? Who's your favorite kid ? And I'm like, Stop it. But I told him, I said, Honestly, I have something different that I love about each of my kids and my daughter, who I've talked about on the podcast, though my cute little daughter that has hearing loss. The thing that I think that I love most about her is I love seeing her do something hard and excel at it because I know how hard it is to do a lot of basic things that are going to come easily the most kids. And I watch her do things, and inside I am just like, Oh my gosh, like, I'm about to bust. But I love it. I love sitting back and looking at my kids and saying, You did something. Yeah , even if it was something small that's very powerful and amazing to be like the person that gets to stand and watch their lives unfold.

Laura: Yeah, they're incredible. They're people and you get to see them grow from

Hilary: And you know, and I like to think to myself , they had a little bit of that success in that!

Jen: Oh you want my favorite part as well?

Laura: Of course! We are all staring at you.

Jen: Oh boy, I've only had a short period like nine to 16 because, this was my first marriage and didn't have any kids and. Oh , there's so many things. You know, I really love the fact that she's 16 and she's still even though I'm like, I need my space, she will just come and jump on my lap and I need some Jen hugs and I’m like ok here’s some Jen hugs. My love language is physical touch. Yeah. When we're sitting somewhere and we're having to wait or we're listening to someone else and she's with us and she'll just lean her head on my shoulder. I mean, those are the little things that I like.

Jen: Yeah it's just those connections. Again, for you, your very relationships, I can tell her, you're at your core.

Jen: Oh yeah, I'm a very loyal person. Watch out if you mess with my friends.

Hilary: Cause then they have to mess with you.

Jen: Ya no creating those relationships is really important, especially with kids.

Laura: I think for me, I found it surprising how much I enjoy each stage. It surprises me because I'm like, There's no way I'm going to enjoy a tweenager. But like, I love my tween, she is so much fun and it's so crazy how much fun we have. And that's not something like you think about is the fun. It's back to that. I think the fun is something that is like, it's healing. It's rejuvenating and it's like it makes all its I think it was a movie. Like what to expect with your when you're expecting, they're like the dad was like, it's awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, and then its amazing! And then its awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful when you have a new baby.

Hilary: You have that good day

Laura: Yeah, that little smile, that first smile was like, Everything's worth it. It's fine, but it's so hard to get to that point. And I think that's why it's so valuable to just like with your daughter struggling and you know, that hug you worked hard for that hug. You worked hard for that relationship. That's not something you take for granted.

Jen: No, I just I had taught step family class. Yeah. And I knew that creating relationships with stepchildren was going to be hard. I mean, her older sister and I have a very different relationship than she and I have. Yeah, but her older sister was 18 by the time I came into the picture.. So I'm grateful for that. And I think each stage there is something hard, I think, but I love that you see the fun in it. Yeah, because that's what we need.

Laura: It surprises you. I think. Like for me, for example, like as my children get older, we have more like interesting conversations. I actually can talk to them and they have opinions. And sometimes I like them and sometimes I don't. But it's like more, more engaging. And I think that fear. Like for I was always afraid of I legitimately have been afraid of teenagers for years because of my experience as a teenager. But it's so different when you're the parent because you can just laugh and have fun and you're like, hormones, Cool, OK? It's like that perspective too, I think helps. Yeah, but yeah, OK. So, you have been doing this…We still have a few more minutes, I’m watching. I’ve got this whole thing. I have 13 questions. And we have actually gone through a lot of them. Oh, we're not going to go through all of them. But I know. Do you guys feel that heat?

Jen: Yeah. Yeah, it's normal. It's always hot.

Laura: And I know, but I'm saying, what's in the hot seat, in the hot seat? So I don't want to know, have you been surprised with something you've learned on the podcast? Like something you wouldn't have expected to like, learn, you know, you're like, Oh, I know about and then you can start something out of that conversation?

Jen: Well, I think an officer, Gomez, and then we have another one in our names that was. The first year we had forecast. But just talking about internet safety.

Laura: Oh yeah, that one was terrifying.

Jen: Just always amazed at how many sneaky little ways perpetrators can get kids and you think you know it and you like, Okay, I've heard it all. And then the next thing comes and you're like, Nope, haven't heard at all yet.

Laura: There's still something to surprise you Unfortunately.

Hilary: We just recently had. I'm not sure if her episode of season aired yet or not, but she had a cute girl that came and talked to us about like safety when it comes to the water and swimming. And she mentioned, like when you're in lakes and how much darker and murkier and harder it is and the safety issues associated with lakes. And literally, that's all we swim in Utah. Like we have dark, murky lakes, that's our body of water. And every time I sense that podcast, every time I have gone to the lake, which I have a handful of times since then, I'm like , Look at that disgusting, murky water that my kids are swimming in.

Laura: You're going to come home and they're like, yeah,

Hilary: I’m like the like extra vigilant. We've been there because of that, because I've never thought about that. We go, they jump in. I don't think twice about the fact that they're in water, that they can't really see very well.

Laura: And you don't know how deep it is.

Hilary: Yeah, exactly.

Jen: It makes us think. And again, I don't know if this episode has aired yet, but that the postpartum,

Laura: Oh, it has! Is that the story?

Jen: Yeah.

Laura: Oh my gosh. I cried. I cried because I related to that. I hadn't postpartum anxiety. I had a panic attack after I had my son, and I had such a hard time with it because I was in a helping field and I had also secondary trauma from that. And my son. And it was just when I listened, I get emotional now, but it just was like it rang so true and hurt her. The way she expressed herself was so sincere. So, I just I just love these resiliency stories.

Jen: She was a great lady. After the episode ended, after we stopped reporting, I talked to her about like. I have chronic pain all the time, and they said that I need to get out of walk or something like that, and maybe I'll just walk around the parking lot of my apartment complex, maybe I'll have to call you for to be my cheerleader. And she was like, So sincere. Absolutely. Call me anytime. And I'm just like. You were like this.

Hilary: She is the person that we all want to be.

Laura: She was so positive and she was not a. I mean, that's getting me again because I know what she went through down to that place and how that I think I think that two surprises me is like, you think you know, people until you actually know them? And even then you're like, Oh my gosh, you went through that? Like, wow

Hilary: And I think for a lot of people that probably wouldn't have known her personally, and I'm just making an assumption. So this may be incorrect, but she's somebody that, yes, she on the outward appearance. I think she could be someone that people could see and think she has it all.

Laura: Yeah. She was hiding it pretty well.

Hilary: Yeah, I mean, she does theater. She does music. Yeah, she's obviously very comfortable standing up in front of anybody and performing. And so, I think it was very eye-opening to see,

Laura: Especially the anxiety

Hilary: Yes and especially with somebody that looks very put together that, yeah, probably has it all figured out.

Laura: Yeah. And I think society is one of those things we don't talk about as much as depression. There's a lot of us, it goes back to that like concept. Anyways, I can talk about anxiety forever, because when you're an extrovert and you have anxiety, it looks totally different than introverts. And you know, anyways, it's just it's so interesting and people are so interesting like you too. Like I, I feel like I'm learning so much about you too, and I feel like I've known you for a while. No, they are, it’s fun! This has been so much fun. I can't. I cannot tell you how honored I am that you guys invited me to do the hosting. Like, I was like, that was because this is a special moment for you guys. You've come so far and you've worked so hard. And like Jen knows my story. And oh gosh, I'm going to get emotional, guys, this sucks. But during the pandemic, I really struggled because I'm an extrovert, and I really was scared that fear that anxiety. It was really, really hard. But like I would, Jen's department, I swear they, like had people like me in mind to like, help let them know there's hope there's other people out there, even though you can't see them. And like, you can hear someone and they're going through this and we're going to be fine. And I think a lot of parents felt that way and they still do. You know, maybe it's not the pandemic, but maybe it's but like the one you did on marriage and like feeling alone in a relationship that's terrifying, you know, and having people out there that are trying to reach out is amazing.

Jen: And the world has gotten crazy. And since the pandemic, it has

Laura: Ya it hasn’t slowed down!

Jen: Now started to be more crazy again. So there's lots to be afraid of, for sure.

Laura: But there's also lots to celebrate.

Jen: And I think I have this little I don't know if it was a toy or what it was, but it was this stick. Well, it was a tube, I guess, not a stick, but it was about probably a foot long. And but what if I held it by myself, it wouldn't buzzer light up. But if I had Hilary hold the other hand, while I was holding it, it would light up because it's using both of our energy kind of a thing. And I just I wish we could be that that way in our communities and our neighborhoods, in our families, to where we are there to hold that stick and light someone up and know that they're there for support.

Laura: One I feel like a podcast is an adaptation, right? Because in the book , I mean, we're not that old , but before our time we didn't have a lot of the technology and you know that disconnect. I feel like you guys talked when you talked about summer and how we were always

Jen: I grew up without technology!

Laura: I did too! I'm saying, I my point is that episode you guys we're talking about, like biking till the Sun went down and all that like that connection's gone in so many ways. And so I feel like this is an adaptation to like here. We're still here, even though you don't have me out in your neighborhood, like checking on you or whatever. It's just such a different time, and it's such a different and it's continually getting weirder.

Jen: I mean , I'm just glad I didn't grow up in this time and we feel bad for the kids. I know it’s so hard. There's things I need to worry about the internet and whatever my friends are going to post about me. I'm just so grateful I didn’t my Facebook or Instagram.

Hilary: Yeah I did a lot of stupid things as a teen. We wont talk about that.

Laura: Yeah, know that's true. You don't have there to be online for forever. That photographic evidence. That's so true. Yeah. I know I didn't have my cell phone problems in college. Yeah, so. But I don't know, I think we're getting close to the hour. Do you guys have anything else you want to share for your listeners, any other thoughts or ideas that you've had while you're over the past hundred episodes?

Jen: We're not going away.

Laura: Yeah not until she get on the Today Show. We're sticking around till the Today Show.

Hilary: But honestly, I mean, like, like we say, we pick our topics and we try to pick a wide variety of topics, and we know that all of our topics will pertain to everyone. And that's okay. But we hope that we can reach a wide population of people who are searching for answers.

Jen: For help and support action support all of those things.

Laura: Well, and you guys you have like you receive, you can receive voice memos and emails. How did how if I was like, how could I send a voice memo to you guys? If I wanted to ask you a question,

Jen: I’m not the techy one

Hilary: Just send a message to our Facebook page.

Jen: You go to my Facebook page, Jen Daly - The Family Place. And I believe there is. If you go to the Family Place on Anchor, there's a place to record.

Laura: Yeah, I think I did that once.

Jen: Yes, you did!

Hilary: And obviously you heard it. So, she figured it out.

Jen: I can talk to MarLyn and make sure that that link is still in the show notes.

Laura: Because I think I think it'd be cool for those of you that are listening because obviously we can't ask every question in an hour. Yeah, but I want what you guys, if possible, to reach out to Jen and Hilary and let them know what you've thought of the past hundred episodes and some things that have touched you or, you know things that have lit up, your feels, you know.

Hilary: And if there is a topic that you've been sitting around waiting for us to talk about and we haven’t talked about it yet, tell us what that topic is. Yeah, we will definitely find a way to throw it in. But be nice to us ok, all good things.

Laura: Be kind!

Jen: Yes be nice!

Laura: Be kind to us and be kind to yourself.

Jen: Absolutely. Thanks, Laura.

Laura: I adore you, girls. I appreciate that you let me come and play with you.

Jen: Well, thank you. I was a little bit worried but that was more fun than I thought.

Laura: Yay! I knew it would be! They were scared because you guys didn't think I was going to come prepared

Hilary: We are not the interviewees were the interviewers. So yeah

Laura: It’s good, It's good. It is like the difference between being a parent and studying to be a parent.

Laura: Now you have been a podcastee or whatever they call it.

Jen: All right. Thank you so much. We'll see you next week.

Thank you for listening to the Parents' Place podcast, if you would like to reach us, you can at parents@thefamilyplaceutah.org you can reach Jen on Facebook. Jen Daly – The Family Place. Please check out our show notes for any additional information. Our website is TheFamilyPlaceUtah.org if you're interested in any of our upcoming virtual classes. We'd love to see you there!