Are the Winter Blues a real thing? Can it impact our parenting and cause rifts in our families? Sharon Bingham helps us understand what this means and how to combat it.
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Jen: Hello and welcome to the Parents Place, a podcast put out by the Family Place for parents to develop skills that will strengthen families and provide tools that will help each of us in our parenting efforts. No matter our skills. We can always use reminders that help us work towards a safer, happier home. I'm your host. Jennifer Daly, the Education Director at the Family Place and my co-host is Sara Hendricks, a family educator at the Family Place. Every week, we will interview professionals that will provide valuable information that will make a difference when you apply it directly to your life. Thank you for joining us. Now, let's get started with today's episode.
Welcome to the Parents Place podcast. I am your host, Jen Daly,
Sara: And I'm your co-host Sara Hendricks.
Jen: We hope that you're having a wonderful day and we are happy that you are joining us. Today, we have a wonderful guest who is going to help us with overcoming the winter blues. Her name is Sharon Bingham, and I'm going to let her tell us a little bit about herself.
Sharon: Hi, everyone. As Jen said, my name is Sharon Bingham. I've worked for the Family Place for two years as a therapist. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist. I wanted to be a therapist because I love helping people. I especially like to help people to strengthen their marriage and their family relationships. I'm married. I've been married for twenty-five years and I have two children, two young adults, a daughter that's twenty-four. A son it's twenty-two. And I love being a mom and I also love being a therapist.
Sara: Well, welcome share. And we are so excited for you to be on our show today and we're excited about this topic and I think we will just jump right into it and ask, Are the winter blues a real thing?
Sharon: Sara, yes, they are! A lot of people feel this, especially that live in the north, where it's colder, where the winter means snow cold weather. So maybe it's a normal response to less suddenly. But for others, it could be a clinical form of depression.
Jen: So, you gave a little bit of a hint. Can you go into more detail of what the winter blues are?
Sharon: Yes, the winter blues are a feeling of depression or deep unhappiness associated with the cold and darkness of the winter time, and it can be mild, moderate or severe. If you do have a more severe form of it, it's actually called seasonal affective disorder, which is a type of major depression with a seasonal pattern, meaning you get it usually from late fall to early spring. So, during the winter months.
Sara: That is really interesting! We don't often think about depression being caused by our environment. As far as the weather goes or the seasons change, and so can you give us some ideas of signs and symptoms of winter blues?
Sharon: Yes, there are several a loss of interest or pleasure and normally enjoyed activities. Excessive fatigue. Difficulty concentrating. A significant change in sleep length. And thoughts about death or suicide. And here I did want to just interject that if you are having any type of suicidal thoughts that you should call 9-1-1, go to the E.R. or call the suicide hotline, which is 800-273-8255, or the text is you text "home" to 741741. And all. I want to remind you that the Family Place also has a crisis line. You would call 435-752-8880 then you would tell them in crisis and they would get somebody to help you.
Jen: Thank you so much. I think it's so important to understand what those signs and symptoms are. I think about myself during the winter time, and I absolutely love it. Like, I don't feel like the weather has an effect on my mental health, but I know my older sister. The weather really affects her, and she looks for any and every reason to get out of the inversion where she lives, and she wants to be out in the sun all the time. I finally bought her a little light so she can sit in front of the little light that's supposed to imitate sunlight. So, it's a big thing and it's really hard for a lot of people. So, I appreciate the signs and symptoms that you were able to help us with drought.
Sharon: So, I wanted to say that that is actually the number one treatment for seasonal affective disorder in the winter blues is to have light therapy. I would recommend checking with your doctor and checking into that to see what would be a good product for you because they are sold commercially and try to dig deeper into that. And if that's something that would interest you.
Jen: Awesome. So, parenting is a big part of our podcasts. And so, I'm wondering, do the winter blues affect parenting?
Sharon: Yes, they do. And I'm going to share an article from Yale Medicine Child Study Center. And it says parental depression is a pervasive problem, and a large and growing body of research shows that there is a major risk factor for difficulties in a child's life. Depressed parents have been found to interact with their children differently in ways that affect child development. For example, depressed mothers have been found in some studies to use less emotion and expressivity in their language with their babies, and they make less eye contact. Parental depression can impact many activities of parenting. Even a single activity, such as reading a story book to a child, may be affected. A particular concern is isolation that may occur for parent and child, which greatly limits the social networks of both the adult and the child, the pressure not only interferes with parental bonding and nurturing. It also means parents may not be as likely to do the things that are necessary to keep their children safe and healthy, such as making a healthy meal, buckling them in their car seat, making sure they get their immunizations.
Jen: That's super interesting, and I feel like when you're in the midst of that depression, you may not feel like it has that big of effect on your children or your parenting, but it sounds like it has a huge effect on the fact that I mean, I just think of newborn babies and how important that attachment is. And if you're going through some mental health issues, how that it can affect that attachment between mother and baby and even older children. I mean, they still we still need to be able to connect with them and have that attachment with them as well. So, thank you for sharing that.
Sharon: Yeah. And that could affect all interest because it's just being less responsive to your child. And then there's inappropriate parenting behaviors. For instance, if it was a school aged child, it might be not making sure they get to school. So, it could be, truancy are not helping them with their homework, so they have a harder time getting their homework assignments done in the past.
Sara: And I'm with you, Jen. I didn't realize that it can have so many effects to have the winter blues. I personally do not appreciate winter the way some do growing up in Arizona. I am still of that mindset that snow is something you go visit and then you go home. There is not snow where you live. So, I do struggle with a desire to go out and do anything during the winter months because it's so cold and wet and the air is so dry and I would rather be bundled up in my home.
Jen: See, and Sara, I'm from Arizona, as you know, as well. And I feel like there should be something called the summer blues because from Arizona, it is so stinking hot. I don't want to go out. I don't want to do anything. So, I think I'm going to start something called the summer blues.
Sara: That's amazing. You know, I was actually there for Thanksgiving, and they were in the high 80s, low 90s. I was in two different areas and it was amazing to me, like it was hard to come back to Utah where it's so cold.
Jen: That's crazy.
Sara: One thing that I do struggle with is how early the Sun goes down. And from that point of the night of the early evening, I do not want to leave my house. I have no desire to do anything outside when it is pitch black out there, especially if I have to take my children with me because it just adds this element of hard for me. And so, I can understand that if you have winter blues, how much harder all of those things feel. When I already feel that and I don't feel like I have necessarily that quote unquote winter blues. So, what are some tips for parents suffering with the winter blues that can help them out?
Sharon: Well, I'm going to start with a couple that we've already mentioned. One is to see a therapist or a psychiatrist. Two is to check into light therapy because they have found that that is the number one treatment that helps with it. Three. These next ones, I would say check with your doctor because they have to do with your physical well-being and that's exercise. Spend time outdoors, especially when the sun's out. Eat a healthy diet, get a good night's sleep and check into vitamin D, which is the vitamin that we get from the sunshine. Next, I would say things to nurture your spirit that's being in nature, praying or meditating, or do whatever you do to get close to what you think of as a greater being or helps you to be more spiritual, whatever that is for each person. Also use healthy coping skills. So, some of those are deep breathing, listening to music that you enjoy, reading inspirational books, writing in your journal, your thoughts, feelings, dreams, talking to a trusted family member or friend that support you. And so next, I'm going to say that's a big one is your support system. You want to be around people, family, friends, co-workers that are supportive and maybe even reach out and start something new, like going to a group or joining a club so that you can have other people around you to be a support to you mentally and emotionally. Next, I would say, to be creative, do activities that you enjoy doing. And then lastly, creating a daily routine and then doing it each day because sometimes it's just a matter of saying, "OK, when I get up, I'm going to do this and then this and this and this". And for some people that are depressed, that's what they do. You just they don't have to think about. It's just, OK, this is next best to just find a healthy routine for you and your family to do that each day.
Jen: Those are great suggestions, and I think that it's helpful to have ideas and understanding that the first one that we try, it may not work, but to continue to try other avenues to help us in these different areas is really important. I know when and I know I've talked about this prior and prior episodes of just things that I had to do to cope with the whole stay at home and COVID and things like that, and first started out with a pain by no didn't like that. And then I started out with something else, and I did that for quite some time and it was helpful, but I got really burnt out on it. And so now I'm trying something new and this is something new for me and my life because I've never said, OK, I'm going to try these new things. I'm not a risk taker. I guess that would be called. I don't know. I'm afraid of. I'm not going to be very good at whatever I try, so I might as well not try when it comes to creative things. So, I'm a true believer in creativity because that has helped me so much over the past several months so I can see how it would help someone with the winter blues of trying new things and being creative. So, thank you for that.
Sharon: Thank you. And I wanted to also say to me, it's like you have a toolbox with all different tools and you take one out and you use it. And if it's effective, great. If it's not or you don't like it, you put it back, you take out the next thing and try it. So yes, I would recommend try some different ones, see which one’s work, which ones that you like. And if they're ones that don't work or you don't like, don't use those ones. So, don't use those again. But for some people, they come back to one that they didn't like. So, for instance, let's say somebody decides they're going to meditate and they try to meditate, and it's like, Well, I can't concentrate. I can't visualize this isn't working well. Let's say a year goes by and they're in a different spot in their life and they try the meditation thing. It might work great. So sometimes you put those tools back and you can take them out again and try them again, and you may have more success with them.
Sara: I totally understand what you're saying, Sharon, because sometimes you do something and you absolutely hate it. But then later you might try it again and realize, Oh, this is working for me. So, one thing for me when it comes to going to the gym is I always had this idea that women, when they go to the gym, they do cardio. They're on a treadmill or an elliptical, and that is their gym experience. And any time I went to the gym, that's what I would do, and I hated it and I dreaded going to the gym time after time because I just hated cardio that eventually I stopped going and I didn't go for a long time. And then about a year and a half ago, I started going to the gym again with an interest and a desire to learn how to lift weights. And I found that I loved it, and I now go to the gym like craving to go back because I really enjoy lifting weights, and that is something that works for me. And so, I tried something at the gym and I wasn't a fan of it and had no interest in going back until I found something that actually worked for me. So, I know that example isn't perfect and what you're saying, but to come back to those tools in our toolbox, we might find that they do work for us eventually.
Jen: Man Sara, next time I see you, I'm going to have to ask to see your guns!
Sara: I'm not necessarily lifting weights to body build, but just to tone up some, you know?
Jen: Well, good for you. All right, Sharon, I am so glad that we're getting all of this information because I know it's going to be able to help those who may struggle with those winter blues. I do have a question of you kids get the winter blues.
Sharon: Yes. And they do get the winter blues. And if parents are looking for symptoms, symptoms would be the same as with an adult changes in mood. They would see more sadness, irritability, feelings of hopelessness from their child, lack of enjoyment and things that they used to find funny. Though energy, they're tired. They want to sleep. A lot changes in what they eat. Difficulty concentrating in less time socializing. You wanted to be with their friends.
Sara: So, hearing that list, it actually made me wonder how you can tell the difference in a child that they're suffering from winter blues versus depression beyond just the season. And then with that, what can we do to help our children or our teens that are suffering from the winter blues?
Sharon: That's a good question, Sara. The difference that you would see is just this season, like if they continue to have these and it's not winter time, then they just have major depressive disorder because the only difference is that the seasonal affective disorder means that they have the symptoms and then that say spring comes and it's gone. They're happy. They're out doing things with friends again. They're getting good sleep. They have energy. Then, you know, like if it happens just during the wintertime, that's how you know that it's seasonal affective disorder or winter blues versus just regular major depressive disorder. And then the tips for helping parents who have children or teens. That has that or we should lose our for them to get their child into treatment and to participate in that treatment to help their children understand what's going on. Like take them in to see somebody and then be like, Well, it sounds like you have some depression. Let's talk about it to have a conversation, depending on the child's age and their ability to see and encourage your child to get plenty of exercise to spend time outdoors, find quality time to spend doing things with your child. Be patient. Don't expect symptoms to go away immediately. Help with homework or things that your child needs help with. Help your child to eat a healthy diet. Establish a good sleep routine and take it seriously. And I think that's really important. Kids want to know that their parents understand what they're going through, and so try to understand it that your child will that be accepting of your child and encouraging.
Jen: Those are all good traits to have throughout the whole year. But I can see the importance of them. If you're noticing some changes within your child's communication is such a huge thing, not between a parent and a child, but also if you find yourself having some of these symptoms, you need to communicate that to others. There's no shame in asking for help to allow us to feel better and to have our days go better. So, I appreciate that. Thank you.
Sharon: Yeah, and I totally agree with you, Janet. Communication is a big thing, and it's OK to ask for help. And these are things that parents should be doing throughout the year. But when they notice these symptoms, they need to just step it up more and be more focused on doing these things with that child.
Jen: Absolutely. Do you have any other resources for us parents that could help us?
Sharon: Well, the first one, of course, that I'm going to mention is the Family Place website. The Family Place podcast. We also have groups and workshops that will be listed on the website. We have therapy services. We have the kids place. So those would be my first mention to people to look into, but also some good websites, or CSA, the National Institute of Mental Health, the National Alliance of Mental Health, and they all have good information on their sites. So, there are some great apps and these are great, especially for teens, but also for children and adults, too. There are some great apps. Some that I really like are calm KLM Headspace, and most of these are free headspace kids 10 free sessions and then you pay per month. But the others have a free basic. And then if you want to add more things and there's a small fee. The envelope is one that I really like virtual hope, box and mood tests. So those are some apps to check out. They're great for depression. Some have breathing techniques. Some have meditation. Some have journaling. Some have trackers. So, they all have different things on them that are helpful for people that are going through the winter blues and seasonal affective disorder. Those are some of my recommendations.
Sara: Thank you, Sharon, for accepting our invitation and sharing this great information with us. We're so glad that you shared so many resources and we will link those in the show notes so that people have easy access to them. Thank you to our listeners for joining us. We hope that this episode was helpful as far as understanding seasonal depression and winter blues that they are a real thing for both adults and children, and there are ways that can help you through them. If you have any questions or weren't sure about if your child is suffering with something with the winter blues, need more clarity? Feel free to email us at parents@TheFamilyPlaceUtah.org. You can also find Jen or myself on Facebook. Jen Daly - The Family Place Sarah Hendricks – The Family Place and of course, remember on those good days when the sun is out, go out and soak up that vitamin D because it's good for your mental health and we'll see you next week.
Thanks again for listening. The Family Place is a non-profit organization in Logan, Utah, with a mission to strengthen families and protect children. We call ourselves starfish throwers. If you're unsure what that means, refer back to our introduction episode where we explain it. The good news is you can be a starfish thrower too by subscribing to the Parents Place podcast and liking our social media pages. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with others and help us get our message out to more people. Also, be sure to check the show notes for links to information referenced in this episode. That's all for now, but we'll catch you again next time on the Parents Place.
Subject Resources: - https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2013/02/seasonal-disorder - https://www.yalemedicine.org/conditions/how-parental-depression-affects-child - https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/sad.html
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