There are many benefits to parents being involved in the community, their child's school, and with organizations. Samantha helps us understand why it's important to get involved and how it can help strengthen families and our communities.
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Jen: Hello and welcome to The Parents Place, a podcast put out by The Family Place for parents to develop skills that will strengthen families and provide tools that will help each of us in our parenting efforts. No matter our skills, we can always use reminders that help us work towards a safer, happier home. I'm your host. Jennifer Daly, the Education Director at The Family Place and my co-host is Sara Hendricks, a family educator at The Family Place. Every week, we will interview professionals that will provide valuable information that will make a difference when you apply it directly to your life. Thank you for joining us. Now, let's get started with today's episode. Hi and welcome to The Parents Place podcast, I'm Jen Daly, your host. Sara: And I'm Sara Hendricks, your co-host. Jen: Today, we are going to be talking about parent involvement and getting involved in our communities and helping out in whatever ways that we can. We have a wonderful guest with us today and I am going to turn the time over to her to let her introduce herself. Samantha: Hi, thank you. My name is Samantha Florey. I am a training and technical assistance coordinator with the French National Center for Community based Child Abuse Prevention, and we work across the country with organizations that receive funding to provide services in the community to prevent child abuse and neglect. And my background is in family support and Family Resource Center and one of the things that I have done is created and developed a family resource center at an elementary school. And so, I hope to share some of those experiences with you today as we talk about getting parents involved in their community and in their schools and what that can look like and all different levels of involvement. Sara: Well, welcome, Samantha. I'm super excited that you're able to be on the podcast with us. I had emailed Samantha to see if she'd be willing to do an episode, and she actually suggested this topic, and I feel really excited about it because I feel like if everybody in a community took being involved a little bit more seriously, it's just going to better the entire community and help strengthen that whole community. So, one thing that I was thinking about is that with our listeners, it's called the Parents Place podcast, and so our listeners are mostly parents or planning to be parents. And one thing that really affects parents is school and having our kids elementary through high school. How can parents get involved? Why is that important for parents to be involved in their child's school? Samantha: Yeah. So, there are a lot of different ways to be involved in your child's school and in the community, and we can talk about the school first, and there are many different levels of involvement. There’re ways that parents can just show up for their student, whether it is picking them up and popping in to say hi to the teacher or there are ways for parents to become more engaged with the school. Perhaps they want to help plan events that are happening at the school. We know it's almost Halloween right now as we're talking, and so a great way for parents to be involved is to talk with the students, teachers or with administration at the school and maybe help plan an event or help volunteer if there is going to be events at the school, you know, who have various different events that they do around holidays. They have different meetings that they have and so parents can find a way to just be there as a volunteer, perhaps the greeting of their parents or just be available at the school. There’re also opportunities in schools for parents to take leadership role to be a part of informing decisions that happen at the school and meeting on a regular basis with the school. So, there's a lot of varying ways to be involved. We know that parents are busy and sometimes it's hard to get to the school during school hours. So, there are other ways to think about being involved in the school. Like I said, we're planning an event that perhaps you could do virtually. So, you don't have to be there when the child school or when you're picking them up because we know parents work and have other children to take care of and it's not always easy to be the one to step into the school, but finding a way to make those connections with the child's teacher and with the administration at the school, letting them know that you want to help plan an upcoming event or that you like to be involved. When I was running a family resource center, it was located on the playground of an elementary school in San Diego, California. And so, parents were constantly walking by and we would try to grab the parents to come in and just say hello, get to know what was going on at the school. And one of the big events that we involved parents every year and planning was called Walk America. It's a national day in the fall where everybody is encouraged to walk to school, is able to or find alternate transportation. And we would always ask the parents to help plan that because the parents know the neighborhood is the best, they know their schedules the best to help children get walking to school. And so, planning different events like that is a great way to get that parent input.
And if you are a parent reaching out to the school and saying, hey, we know this holiday is coming up or this event coming up and we would love to give us some ideas, help plan it, maybe volunteer at it, whatever that would look like. And one of the questions that that has been asked is why is it important for parents to be involved with their children school? And there are many, many reasons for this, and when we talk about that involvement again, we're talking about all those different levels of involvement on a wide spectrum, but any part of that involvement is beneficial to both the parents and the children. It helps parents have those social connections, you're connecting with people at the school, you may be connecting with other parents that you are planning things or being a part of a meeting or an event at the school, and you get to interact with other people. And it really helps grow when we talk about those protective factors that social support and when the parents are involved in the school, the children see that they see their parent at the school or talking to people from the school, and they know that they're invested in their child and that they care about what's happening in the child's life, in their school lives. And that helps with the connection between the parent and the child to know, hey, they're aware of what's happening. Well, isn't just a place that I go to and they don't know what's happening there, but we are all together and understanding what's going on and being a part of it together and building those effective partnerships with the school as the parents are communicating with various administrators, teachers or other parents. Whoever you may be communicating with at the school, it really helps open up that mutual respect for everybody and that shared responsibility of the education and the overall school life for the children. Jen: That's great information. I know I have a sister that is a second-grade teacher, and she absolutely loves when parents come in and help her with reading time. She also does have parents who have planned parties around the holidays, and I know she really appreciates that and the kids love it when their parents come to class. Samantha: Of course, we know the teachers always need help. They're so busy and they want to do the best for their students, so having those parents involved is so important for the teachers too, and it's a great way to connect and be a part of what's happening at the school. Sara: So, I actually totally agree with the things that you're saying because at my kids' school, they actually require that parents volunteer four hours a month. And so, an hour a week, essentially and because of that, I am a working mom and that feels really hard to be involved. During the school day, they expect parents to come into the classroom, help grade papers or do group activities, that kind of thing. And I'm unable to do that, so I'm part of the parent board and I help out, I actually chair a position, the health and safety position where I do the maturation clinic and the abuse prevention program that comes into the school. And then I also help prepare the emergency kits that are in every classroom at the beginning of every school year. And that involvement, as far as being on the parent board has really helped me understand how the school functions. And I feel like I have a really good relationship with the school principal and with the people in the front office that it's just helped me be more successful as a parent and help set my children up for more success in the school. Because of that little involvement that I have by doing those health and safety activities for the school. It's just three things that I do in the year, but because of those three things I feel like I understand the school a lot better. Samantha: Thank you, and I appreciate you bringing up that, you know you are working parents and it is hard to meet sometimes the volunteer times. And first of all, I love that, that the school does that, that they ask the parents to have those volunteer hours. I think that's so important and really four hours in a month, I think is very doable. And there are other ways I love what you're talking about being involved on the board, there are other ways that you can physically go during the day that the school. There are other ways we know there's people that are really good with IT and schools always need help with various things, updating websites, putting out newsletters, other things like that is a great way to be involved. My partner works what they call the changing at his son's football game, so on Saturdays, when there's a football game, he goes and he's one of the people that moves the teams along the football field as his son is playing football, so he gets to watch his son play, but also help out during the game and be a part of that football community. So, there are a lot of different ways that you can be creative and be involved with the school. Sara: Yeah, and what's so great is being part of the parent board. Most everything that I do, I do from home, I don't have to be in the school to be able to organize those things. Jen: Our next question is. And you've talked about this just a little bit, but how can getting involved with the community increase social connections for parents? Samantha: Yeah. Getting involved in your community is really a great way to foster those connections, and we know it's been difficult right now given the pandemic. But there are still ways to get out and walk around your community and see your community and be involved in it. And I'll talk about some ways, and we know that some of these may be viable now, and some of them we may have to wait a little bit until the world is a little bit safer but by being able to be in the community, not only does it give sort of your own sense of pride as a parent when you feel like you contributed to your community, but it also just helps your children see that pride. It helps them understand like this is where we live, this is our home and you have that sense of ownership and where you're living because you're a part of it. And so, there's a lot of different ways that you can get out in the community, whether it's going for a walk, whether you look at different community organizations, if there's a community center, that if the school is offering different events, they're sometimes different places like the libraries will have classes and things that you can get involved in, and they're offered at all different times of the day. And if there is a community center or a family resource center in your community or near your community, they often will offer events at all different hours so that people can get involved and being able to leave the house or right now, perhaps hop on the computer and do a virtual event, but seeing other people that are also interested in the same thing interested in improving your school may be interested in taking a class around parent leadership sort of thing. Sometimes they even do like cooking classes or different types of classes around yoga or fitness, just being a part of those and seeing other parents there, it's a great way to foster the social connection.
You oftentimes will have a little bit of time to chat with other people that are involved, whether they give you time on a virtual space or if you're in person before or after a class or before or after the event, you have that time to connect with somebody and oftentimes, you may show up to community events and you recognize a parent from your child's school or when you say, hey, I think I recognize you and you get talking about your kids at the school or an event that's coming up at the school or in the community. And it's really nice to make those connections and then you start to see familiar faces, so then you might be out at the grocery store some day and you see that same person that you had seen at a community event and say, hey, how are you? Or, you know, how is your child doing? We know we talked about this with them. How are they doing in school now? And you start to get to know people and spaces and different things in your community, and it really helps with that social connection. And perhaps down the line, you may have talked with somebody about an issue their child was having at school, and then you need some advice related to that and you know, you talk to somebody in the community that you met at an event and you can reach out to them or seek them out of the future event to talk again. So, having just that nice connection to people is really helpful. I know I moved Cross Country about eight years ago, and I knew when I was home in my community, when I started recognizing faces, when I would go out for a walk or go out to the grocery store and it does. Even if you may not talk to the person, if that feels good to just be that familiar face and be like, oh yeah, that's my neighbor from down the street. And feel comfortable and you give the person a nod and you know that this is your community and it gives you that sense of pride and connection to what you have where you are. Jen: I know for our agency we depend a lot on volunteer work, and so I feel like that's just a natural way to make those connections and make friends and create those supports, especially when you have hard times. It's so great that you can turn to these people who kind of know you and can help support you and want the best for you as well. We have what is called a circle of friends, they plan all of our events for our fundraiser, so our big fundraising dinner. It's a group of volunteers that come together, get the donations so we can have a live auction and a silent auction, and they plan all the decorations and everything else. And I've heard many times that they just have so much fun and they've created lifelong friends through this process. Samantha: And I love that, you know, volunteering is such a great way to meet people and to have that sense of responsibility and ownership and pride, like you were saying in the event that they planned. And it really because you're spending that time planning something and it's something that you are excited about and you're in your invested in the outcome of success with that. You do feel more connected to the people that you've been planning with and having that way to do that is so neat. And that's why I had mentioned looking at different opportunities to plan events, school or in your community if there's events at the park or at the library that you could help plan. It's a great way to do that here in our organization at Friends National Center for city cap, we have a parent advisory council that has parents from across the country that come together. They help to plan events, they get together, they have monthly Zoom meetings and they inform the work that we do here at friends. But they also have created such a bond with each other and when we are able to get together in person, we try to do that about once a year with our staff and also with the parent advisory council. And they, they're so close because they have spent so much time talking with each other planning events. They, provide input into planning for programs and different things in that connection that they have experience. It's so amazing to see, and they truly, like you said, they're lifelong friends because they've made those connections. So, when we talk about those levels of involvement for parents finding a way to do that involvement or find those events or find a way just to be out in the community, there's other things too, like community beautification project, whether there's park cleanup days or different days that you go out and you do nice things around the community. For example, April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, and so we've seen parents that go out and put a little ribbon inventory wearing that, but and other things like that that they can do when the schedule allows. We have little blue wheels that people put out in yards and parks and things for Child Abuse Prevention Month, and so finding those ways to have a cause that you believe in and also give us your time for something that you really enjoy doing is a nice way for parents to involve. But it also shows children the parent’s investment in the community and in the place that they built. Sara: Yeah, I think when we take pride in our community, it just helps strengthen the overall community. And I was thinking, as you're talking about the community that I live in, sometimes I feel like is straight out of a hallmark movie. I live in a pretty small town of about 5000 residents, and they do a lot of community events and activities. And as I was driving to work today thinking about this episode and thinking about what my town is currently doing, they have a Halloween home decorating contest going on right now, and every home that participated has a like traffic cone in front of their home with a number to let us know that this is a home that's part of this like Halloween decoration parade that you can drive around and find all of the homes and see their decorations. And it's a contest that was already judged and so you can see what awards each home won and it's just really fun, and I was thinking about why our community would do that and why people would participate. And I just think that it brings this unity and pride, and it provides an activity that is positive and uplifting and allows families to spend time together and they do stuff like this for a lot of holidays and Christmas time. We have a house in our neighborhood that they put Christmas lights on every square inch of their home and they win every year, the Griswold award for the movie Christmas Vacation, I think, is what it's called and it's just hilarious. But people that know that family feel excited to know them, you know, because they're kind of like known in the community as the Griswold Christmas family and people go out of their way wanting to meet them and, you know, it just helps pull everybody together and get to know each other more. And when you know the people in your community, you're kinder and more understanding because you know a little bit more of their own situations and that kind of thing. So overall, I just feel like community events and activities and get. Involved in them increasing those social connections, it's just so important. Samantha: I agree with you and I would imagine that the community and the people that live in those homes are also the ones that helped plan that event. And that's why it's so successful and everybody loves it so much because you all in the community are the ones that are probably involved in planning that and making sure it all happens. Sara: Yes, definitely. So, I was wondering if you could help us understand how parents can have a voice in their communities and also in the schools that their children attend? Samantha: Yes, definitely. And that's a great question, because there's one way we know to be involved is great and to be a part of the school but we also want parents to be able to have that voice and be able to contribute to what's happening there and to be able to speak up when they want to see changes in the school, when they have ideas about different programs or things to implement. The schools and the community use and not just show up as participants and things, but really have that voice to be a part of it. One of the ways that you can really think about this is attending those different meetings. You know, you were talking earlier about being on the board. If they're at school board meeting. We hear about a lot of times in the news and other times where there's a school board meeting and all these parents show up because they're really passionate about it. The specific issue at that meeting, which is great and we want to see that that's how change happens but showing up to every meeting and having that voice, even if it's not a big issue or anything, but just being there to represent as a parent when there are community meetings and board meetings and meetings for your children at the school, just being there and being present and actively participating is a great way to start to have a voice in the community and in the schools and speaking up when you have an idea or you feel that there's something that needs to be talked about, and that might mean speaking up more than once about it because it might not get addressed in the first place, but finding the right person to talk to the community. You know, if you have an alderman or a community leader, some type of person that is in the community, but also a connection to making change within the community, sending them letters, making phone calls and talking to them.
Perhaps it's to get an area cleaned up for it to prevent something that's happening in the community by being able to reach out and knowing who those people are. And that parent voice is so important and we know there are parents or some parents who are always speaking up and always speaking out. And those are really good advocates. And there's other parents who sometimes are a little quieter, may not want to speak up or aren't quite sure how to do that. And that's where making the connections between parents is so important so that you have that person if you yourself, as a parent may not be able to or may not want to have that voice, you have someone that you can talk to that is the voice of the parent that is representing for the parents and making sure that all the voices are heard. Sometimes administrators and community staff and people in the center get caught up in their sort of day to day and what needs to get done to meet whatever goals and funding they have for their organization. And they're just sort of working as they're used to working and so being able to insert a parent in there and say, hey, we want to provide some feedback, we want to help you plan the program, we want to tell you how things have been going, it's really an opportunity to be a part of that team and that planning. And so, finding a way to get that in some time, especially now one of the ways that can be most effective is the social media and whether it is commenting on Facebook pages of community organizations or schools tend to have Facebook pages. We're using Twitter to reach out and say, hey, we noticed this in some it's a trend going about a certain topic in your community. Social media can have a really big impact, and especially for people who may not be able to go in-person places, they can use that to help their voices be heard and help get word out about different things that are happening good or bad. Maybe there are events coming up and they want to help plan, and they're getting the word out about an event or they're trying to reach somebody and a lot of times we can use social media to get your word out and for the people.
So, there are a lot of different ways to have that voice, we were talking earlier about volunteering, showing up to a volunteer event. It really could be a first step in order to get your voice heard, you might show up to one event. Maybe it is around helping hand out food and a food donation day, and you show up to that and you get to know somebody that works at that community organization and they invite you to come to a different meeting and you sort of get to know the work that's happening there, and that's a really nice way to have your voice heard and naturally become involved. But other times you can show up at meetings and have your voice or go to the school when you have a meeting with the student’s teacher and talk with them about things. So, there's a lot of ways to share your voice and get involved in the community and really encourage you to continue to share your voice. I know sometimes it gets discouraging when there's a cause you believe in or something that you really want to see happen in your community or in your school and its slow moving, or it feels like people aren't listening and that when parents really need to keep their voice going and if they really believe in be an advocate for the change that they want to see or the program that they want to see happen and continue to advocate for it. And it is encouraging sometimes and it can be slow but in the long run, it is for the benefit of the parents and the children and all of the families in the community when parents have that voice and they're willing to get out there and use their voice to improve people's connecting. Sara: So one thing that I was thinking as you were talking is we make time for the things that we prioritize and find important. And sometimes we don't think that being involved in our kid's school is important. But when you think about it, our kids are in the public-school system or whatever school system we choose for the next 12 and 13 years of their lives and that's just one child. If you have multiple children, that time extends as a parent, how long we are part of that school system. And it's a pretty big deal, our kids going to school for essentially seven hours a day, that's a big part of our lives and so getting involved in the schools, being part of those parent board meetings and things, really, it can have a big impact to have that voice in the community that affects our children. And I was thinking about attending those meetings when I first started going to our parent board meetings. I was so uncomfortable, I felt like it was really formal, we had to start the meeting a certain way and end the meeting a certain way. They're keeping minutes and things have to be approved in certain ways that I just was like, holy cow, how do they even know what they're doing? I felt so lost. But I kept attending and I was just kind of a fly on the wall, I didn't really contribute, but now I've been doing this for several years and I feel way more comfortable and I contribute way more than they probably want me to and it's just really helped to attend those meetings. You don't have to go in ready to run everything but the more that you get involved, the more comfortable you're going to be. And that's the same in the community attending parent advisory boards and different organizations volunteering, the more you do it, the more comfortable you're going to get, the more connections you're going to make to be able to help support the community all around. Jen: Absolutely, and it's you're being a great example for your kids to get involved, and they then may in turn want to get involved within the community as well. So, Samantha, we've talked about lots of things, and I just want to get your perspective on how the all of these different types of involvement help strengthen families and support children. Samantha: Yeah, these are all ways that we've talked about this and we just heard this. You know, when we when you're involved, you feel good about being there and you feel good about sending your kids to school. If you're involved in the school because you know what's happening there and you understand what's going on, you're not just sending your child away to a place for seven hours like that and then they come back home and so it's first of all, it's just that feeling of self-worth. And that involvement also helps develop skills, there are a lot of skills that you can gain when you are involved and engaged. You gain skills of planning, you learn about what's happening in the schools and in the community and with that, you're able to have more knowledge about both your own community but when we're talking about protective factors, you're also able to really have more knowledge of parenting because you understand what is going on in the schools. You understand your child's education, you understand what's going on in the community and communities are always changing. So, having knowledge of that helps you be a better parent it helps your children feel more adjusted and comfortable, both going to school and going out in their community. And again, we talk about this, but that that idea of ownership and responsibility to where you are and having those opportunities to be a part of that really gives you that motivation and buy in to think we're a part of this community and we're part of the school community and we really like it and we're really enjoying it. And this is a place for us to also have some personal growth, as we connect with other people, as we learn different things, as we advocate for what our family needs and what our children need. We feel like we're all for building knowledge and skills in the work that we're doing, and so it's a great way to have that mutual respect within the school. And also, that idea or just the buy in, and ultimately, it does support the children because we know that there are going to be times of need when families have them and when they are better connected and involved in the community and the school, when there are those kinds of needs, they're able to reach out to people that you're connected with. That you volunteered with or seen it before, yeah, those are the times where you can take those concrete support because you've got those connections and be able to help your family out and help strengthen your family and protect your children because you've got those connections to support them. Jen: And I'm just also thinking the more you're connected, the more you know what's going on in your community. And then a way to strengthen your family is to know about those activities and to know about all of the free activities that happen within your community to go and have that family time to strengthen your family. And those are always great times to have great conversations with your kids at the same time. So definitely see how all of these different things kind of connect into really building strong families and supporting kids because we're helping make our community a better place. Sara: Also, Samantha you've shared so many great things with us today. I just want to ask if there's any last things that you would like to share before we close up this episode? Samantha: No, I just want to thank you for asking me to be a part of this podcast, and it's so great to talk with both of you and to share information about parent involvement and leadership and really hope that that we're able to give some idea for parents to go out and be a part of their community and a part of the schools that their children go to. Sara: Yes, I agree. Thank you so much for being a part of this episode, you really have shared some valuable information that I hope parents listening to this will apply and try to get more involved in their kids' schools and in the communities. To our listeners, if you have any questions, you can email Jen and myself at Parents@thefamilyplaceutah.org. We're also going to share some resources in the show notes that Samantha has given to us that are really valuable for parents to check out as far as community involvement and strengthening families. You can find Jen and me on Facebook. Sarah Hendricks - The Family Place Jen: Jen Daly - The Family Place Sara: And if you would like to receive some parenting tips, you can text TFP to 33222 that's all that we have for you today. Thank you so much for joining us, and we'll catch you again next week on The Parents Place.
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Resource: Parent Leadership Resource: https://friendsnrc.org/parent-leadership/
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