With spooky season just arouand the corner, it is omporntat to know remeber to stay safe in such a fun time of year. Jen and MarLyn joing togehter to talk to us about Halloween night and how we can keep us and our kids safe! We hope you all have a fun Halloween!
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Jen: I feel like this is going to be super hard with you
MarLyn: Okay, I'll shut up
Jen: Welcome to the Parents Place podcast with Hillary and Jen. Hello and welcome to the Parents Place podcast. You might have recognized that this is Jen and not Hillary. She is out doing some important things today, and so we have MarLyn, who is our behind the scenes guru. So she is the one that does all the scheduling, all the editing and all the postings. So really, she does the hard stuff and Hillary and I just come and do the easy stuff. But today is fabulous Halloween, I love Halloween, so MarLyn and myself are going to talk about safety while your trick or treating. And maybe we'll get to some funny things that kids say or some creepy things that they say for this this Halloween edition.
MarLyn: Awesome. Hello, everyone. I've been on a couple of times and it's cool to be on here to be the pretend Hillary while she's saving the world of children here at her other job. Other part of her job. So OK, kidshelp.org this is what they're telling us. Halloween safety tips. Do you have any off the top of your head before you looked at the list? Did you have any that came to mind?
Jen: I grew up in the 70s and 80s, so there wasn't a whole lot of rules.
MarLyn: That's nice.
Jen: Not that there wasn't a lot of rules, but I can't remember any like specific like be careful kind of a thing. We did have certain homes that we did not go to because my parents either had other information that we didn't have or just, you know, you know, you always have that one odd neighbor on your street.
MarLyn: That's like, growing up I feel like everyone, like every house you could go to, at least in my neighborhood. And I mean, there was always like the people we didn't know and we thought they were scary for that reason. But but now I go with my kids and like, hardly anyone, does it Yeah, like all the lights are off, we knock anyways, just to be annoying I guess. And no one answers and not hardly anyone, but. And maybe this is my kid memory not being accurate, but I feel like there's way less houses that do trick or treating.
Jen: I do remember as a kid that there was a lot of kids up and down the streets trick or treating, and you don't see that very often anymore. And I wondered just because it was still that way when I moved up here to Utah from Arizona in ninety nine. I mean, we still had a lot of trick or treaters. So I thought, maybe that's just a Utah thing that kids lots of kids do and go trick or treating. Maybe because it's too cold, I don't know.
MarLyn: I had my two best friends growing up. They weren't allowed to go trick or treating. So I guess maybe that is becoming more popular.
Jen: And I think trunk or treats are becoming more popular, at least here in Utah.
MarLyn: I hate trunk or treat
Jen: Well, it takes the whole fun out of it, I think.
MarLyn: And then my kids get there's six events to get a ton of candy at and I'm like please stop they have plenty. The one night we're supposed to get it. That's not very nice. Thanks to everyone who actually planned fun little parties, but we’re overwhelmed.
Jen: It's a lot of a lot of candy, and maybe that's the other thing. I wonder if it'll be different this year with inflation and the increase of costs for everything. So it'll be interesting.
MarLyn: Yeah, I've noticed the quality of candy definitely has gone down. There's a whole lot of smarties in my kids bags and I'm severely disappointed
Jen: You don’t get those full candy bar people that often anymore.
MarLyn: We're all too poor.
Jen: So, yeah, tell me about it. Poor.
MarLyn: Yeah, OK. First one Choose a light colored costume that's easy to see at night and reflective tape. I'm only laughing. Not because it's a bad idea, but can you imagine like. Your kids like the Grim Reaper, and you're like putting reflectors on them.
Jen: He's probably going, Mom, this goes against everything that the Grim Reaper supposed to be
MarLyn: Like all the bigfoots and the vampires are like “White clothing!”, this is the exact opposite of this, but it is a good idea. So thank you kidshelp only buy costumes labeled flame retardant, which often they will tell you if they are not. I don't ever know. I don't know if they actually tell you if they are flame retardant. I've only seen ones that say these are not flame retardant. Look into that
Jen: I’ve never even thought about that. Like, I'm wondering, maybe we just need to have a conversation with our kids and not getting close to the pumpkins?
MarLyn: Oh, that's true. That makes more sense. Why the later tips don't touch Campbell's family thing I can think of out of nowhere. Make sure beards and wigs don't cover your kid's eyes and noses or mouths. I feel like you'd know if it was covering your eyes because your kid…
Jen: Wouldn't be able to see where they're going. But if it's a beard, it's gonna cover the mouth more likely. So maybe we'll just have to take out some scissors and do a little bit of trim. I’d like to do that to my husband's beard right now.
MarLyn: That's another that's like a beard or a cape, I guess is a really good one to be cautious around flames. I didn’t think about that one. I guess my kids have wigs down to their bums. Oh let’s see.
Jen: Mass can make it hard for kids to see and breathe and instead try using non-toxic face paint or makeup. And I would feel like all of the stuff that you got in the store should be nontoxic. My little stepdaughter, she not little, she's 16, but she just got done here. We have Lagoon, which is our amusement park for Utah. And she did, they have what's called fright-mares . And so for all of you know, all of October, they do Halloween stuff. And so, she got to do all of that fancy makeup for all of the haunted houses there at Lagoon.
Jen: Yeah, you could see her progress overthe time it just got better and better.
MarLyn: OK. To prevent falls, avoid oversized and high heeled shoes. Make sure the rest of the costume fits well, too. This is my daughter a few years ago while she trips a lot, but on Halloween night, a cat, a black cat, ran across the sidewalk and then she tripped, and she's convinced it was the cat and not just that her dress was massive. So that's it. And she talks about it all the time. Make sure props like wands or swords are short and flexible. That's going to be a battle with the kids, but it does make sense.
Jen: And yeah. I could give I understand that. But I feel like it also could be a conversation of we keep our sword to ourselves at all times.
MarLyn: Yes. Opportunity for…
Jen: teaching moments? Yes. All right. I don't know. Sorry. I don't know how many wands are flexible.
MarLyn: Like a candy wand, but then it would just flop.
Jen: Yeah. So I'm just thinking, I always say to people, even though we're not on an amusement ride. Keep your hands and your feet inside the ride at all times. That means keep them to yourself
MarLyn: And your wands and your swords. I like that teaching moment instead of getting a lame wand. All right. Trick or treating basics for kids under 12. Always go trick or treating with an adult. Whoops. I was going to let my 10 year old go on her own, not on her own own, but with friends. Well, my husband was going to, but I was too scared. Know how to call 9-1-1 in case they get lost. Oh, they should know, yeah, OK. I was like, well, I know my kid's phone number. They should know their phone number or cellphone number. If you don't have a landline.
Jen: And I feel this is tricky because where I mean, I've been married to my husband now six years, and I still couldn't tell you his phone number. I have no clue what it is. So because it's just saved in my phone. So that could be tricky of teaching your kids, especially if they have their own phones.
MarLyn: Yeah, you can't just like press mom's face in your phone. If it gets lost or something.
Jen: So we need to make sure that we're teaching our kids our cell phone numbers. Not every child under 12 has a phone. I would never buy my 12 year old or younger a phone, but some parents do. And that's OK, that's your choice. But make sure that they also know and can memorize your phone as well.
MarLyn: This isn't on there, but I think of like, go to a trusted adult, and I mean, if you're lost, you might not know is the trusted adult and maybe go to a house and ask for a mom or something like if you don't have the phone.
Jen: It's a tricky thing. All right, for you, you that have older kids and that can go out on their own. Here are some tips for them, so make sure you understand and know where they're going and when they'll be home.
MarLyn: That's such a good idea to know their route. Mm-Hmm. I didn't think about that.
Jen: Carry a cell phone, so mom and dad, if there's a two parent household, give them one of your phones if they don't have one so that they can call and I feel like if you're 12 and older is going out by themselves to give them a cell phone, so then they don't have to worry. I just thought of a good one that if you're giving your 12 year old or younger and they're going with friends or no matter what age set up the little find them on your phone like Apple has the find me thing. So make sure that’s on and your child's is on as well, so if they're late, you know where they're at.
MarLyn: Go in a group and stay together. That sounds obvious, but when you're a kid, it's like ughhh
Jen: Why do I have to stay with these people? And then only go to houses with porch lights on. That's just a safety thing when they don't have. But I think it's also a courteous they yeah. If they don't have their porch light on, they're more than likely not wanting to participate in Halloween activities.
MarLyn: So don't be like me.
Jen: Stay away from candles and flames.
MarLyn: Yeah, I think we covered that. Know to never go in a stranger's home or car. Man, how about were you ever invited into someone's house when you were trick or treating?
Jen: Not that I remember.
Marlyn: Like, they should have everything ready to go at the door.
Jen: Yeah. But I think, you know, sometimes and I think strangers should be taken out of, we just shouldn't go into homes because I'm sure here they're trying to deter abuse in any way. And we know that it's like in the high 90s percentile that it's someone that the child knows, not a stranger. So it's just should be a good, hard, fast rule not to go into homes or cars.
MarLyn: This is a porch thing. We don't need to enter anyone's house. I agree. And if they say, hold on, come in like, I’ll just wait right here, I'm fine right here.
Jen: I think another one which is hard is to make sure that they're walking, not running, especially around busy streets. But that is so stinkin hard because they're so excited, you know, and their front brains not fixed or not fixed, but not done. And so they can't figure it out that, oh, I'm going to run. I could get in trouble here. I could trip. I could run in front of a car. Whatever the case may be.
MarLyn: Lots of reminding. You parents are going to have to keep reminding because their little brains can't quite hold on to it for very long,
Jen: Especially when there's the excitement of getting candy? I did like this one, according to Safe Kids Worldwide, the risk of kids being hit by a car is higher on Halloween than any other day of the year. So make sure that we're doing the whole look both ways.
MarLyn: You don't need to run, stay as a group. Aghh that’s so stressful.
Jen: Cross in the crosswalks which is always hard because if you're in a neighborhood, really how many crosswalks are there? So make sure you're looking both ways. And it's not bad. I've always I've seen some parents that tie a little like the little glow stick to their pumpkin or their bag that they're collecting their and that's not a bad thing to do so that they're a little bit more visible.
MarLyn: Yeah, I love that. A lot of times my kids get a glow stick from like an aunt or an uncle and like, it's not hard to keep them on because they think they're awesome. So it's not like you're being obnoxious. It's not one more thing you have to fight about the hold on to them, and I think it's a great way to help others see them.
Jen: And then the last one. We have, tip wise, is once your children get home and what should you do once they get home ?
MarLyn: Let's see. Help them check all their treats to make sure they're sealed. That's good. That's what I do when I get stuff at the grocery store. Throw candy with torn packages or holes, spoiled items, and homemade treats that weren't made by someone you know. That's a great tip. I still don't know how I feel about the drugs appearing in. I need to see if that's ever really happened. I'm going to do that after. I mean, you should just throw it away if it looks tampered with. But I'm skeptical that people are giving away their drugs to children. OK. Choking hazards, hard candy or gum for younger children and have them wash their hands and brush their teeth before. That's a good one, too. Also, to wash their hands of how many things that they touched, or how many times that they trip too.
Jen: Touch that makeup, touch their mouths, whatever it may be. So make them spoiled items. Boy, that would be a house I would never go back to if they're giving away spoiled items. But I do I remember when I was a kid, we were talking about this earlier, I remember as a kid, we were always the news, always told us, Check your candy, make sure it's sealed just because of back then in the day it was pins and razors and things like that. So that was the big scare. So I remember dumping out our bag of candy. We always took a pillowcase.
MarLyn: Yeah.
Jen: And dumping it all out and then having to go through and throw away all of the ones that were opened or slightly opened or looked a little bit shady. And so
MarLyn: That's good.
Jen: And I also think that if you have rules about how much candy your child is allowed to eat, talk to them prior to so that they're not getting in trouble for something you didn't talk to them about because kids aren't going to make that decision on their own, they're going to eat until they feel sick. And then then you're going to get mad.
MarLyn: So parenting tips, not just safety tips.
Jen: Did you do anything fun when you were a kid?
MarLyn: Like tradition wise? I mean, we'd go trick or treating, and I remember, you know, like those Kool-Aid drinks. I can’t remember what they’re called… they were called squeezes, I think Kool-Aid squeezers or something?
Jen: In the little plastic bottle?
MarLyn: And they’re super flexible? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like we never got those. But on Halloween we got them and so we'd go trick or treating. This is when I was really young and we come in and there's one on the table and it had like, you know, some like hand out of a mummy holding it and squeeze from your mummy because my mom bought them for us. It was the biggest deal because we never got those. And then I used the cap and I put it in because it was the cap off. I put in the mouth and pretend it was a retainer because I didn't get braces or retainer and all my siblings did, and I was real mad about.
Jen: I'm looking at your teeth right now and you didn’t need it.
MarLyn: But I wanted them. My teeth didn’t grow together till freshman year in college though.
Jen: We always my dad was in the National Guard, and so he would always sit out in this creaky old rocking chair that they still have, and they would put he would put on his camouflage like coat and pants, and then they were all also given a gas mask.
MarLyn: Oh my God.
Jen: So my dad would put on the gas mask with his camouflage coat and pants, or sometimes it was too hot in Arizona, so he would put on the green poncho that he had and sit there and just rock. With the bucket of candy in his lap, and he'd just sit there and rock.
MarLyn: I probably wouldn't have gone to your house. Does he still do it?
Jen: No, no. He's too old now, but yeah, we loved getting ready for it. We loved putting up the decorations because they're not like they weren't like the cling ones now. They were a thicker like cardboard that had little divots in it. So you can move the legs of the skeleton and stuff like that, and then we'd tape them on our windows and the spider webs. It was so much we loved it and we loved that my dad would do that.
MarLyn: That is so fun.
Jen: We always got to make our own costumes to. I don't really remember what I was, except for we have a picture of me as a hobo, so I had like a stick with this thing, a bag on the end of it. Weird.
MarLyn: I should make my kids do that every year. Because every year I put so much money into the costumes and half the time they’re like, Yeah, I don't want to be that anymore. And I'm like, and every year I'm like, I'm never buying wigs again. And then the next year
Jen: I’m buying the wig again.
MarLyn: Listen, future self, don't buy another wig.
Jen: All right, here is one creepy thing that a child said.
MarLyn: Obviously, some of these are like creepy, but cute, you know, like maybe not. All right. This is from Insider. I'll post the links you guys can enjoy. This was my cousin a while ago, he was maybe six he had been telling his mom, little lady comes in his room and tickles his feet at night. Everyone was like, OK. Then one day they were going through an old photo album, and he came across a photo of the grandmother who had passed away when he was a baby. He pointed to the photo and told his mom, That's the lady that tickles my feet. It still spooks me out to think about it. What are your thoughts?
Jen: Well, I love ghost things, and I watch those things because I'm just waiting for that day that they get it on camera. But..
MarLyn: It's not so crazy. Ahh Grandma is hanging out.
Jen: Yeah, I don't. I don't take it as creepiness.
MarLyn: If it was like a mugshot of someone who died.
Jen: I would be more like dang, I wish she'd come visit me and tickle my feet at night and say, hi grandma or hi mom.
MarLyn: Oh. Well, it wasn't that creepy, but it was…
Jen: Was more endearing.
MarLyn: Endearing Halloween.
Jen: Well, we like to think all of you for joining us today on this Halloween. We hope that you enjoy your time spending with your kids, creating some new memories and maybe creating some new, new traditions. We know that those are all great to keep your family growing and strengthening on what you already have, so we hope that you have a ghoulish night and we will see you next week. Remember to be kind to yourself. Especially today, when the kids are driving you crazy, probably so happy Halloween, and we'll see you next week.
Thank you for listening to the Parents Place podcast. If you would like to reach us, you can at parentsatthefamilyplaceutah.org, or you can reach Jen on Facebook. Jen Daly/TheFamilyPlace. Please, please check out our show notes for any additional information. Our website is thefamilyplaceutah.org if you're interested in any of our upcoming virtual classes. We'd love to see you there.
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