Change can be hard, but when it comes to leaving your native country and coming to another one, almost everything is unknown and involves change. The weeks guest is Abbas. Abbas has been here in the United States for 2 as a refugee from Afghanistan. We are so glad he is here and willing to tell us a little bit about his experiences. From what is like to be a refugee and resettle in a new country to finding future opportunities, Abbas's story share hope and resiliency.
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Jen: Welcome to the Parents Place podcast with Hilary and Jen.
Hilary: Welcome to the Parents Place podcast. Good to have our listeners here with us today and we have a guest with us that we're so excited to introduce you to and to hear about his story and his experience. Abbas that I say that correctly. Perfect. I was practicing it in my head, so I thought, can't mess this up already. He has been a presenter. At the Family Place in the past and. Was it was so incredibly for the staff that was there, so incredibly insightful and helpful for us to hear his story that he's back and he's here to share his story with you, your listeners, out there. So, we appreciate him taking the time and the preparation. Me here and I'm going to turn the time over to. You if you want to introduce yourself a little bit.
Abbas: Thank you so much. My name is Abbas Ehsani. I am a refugee from Afghanistan and I came to the US in July 2022. The first said that I moved and we settled that is Utah and the city is called Logan, a very friendly city, friendly people, friendly community and yeah. I so actually I have my siblings and my parents back in Afghanistan and I'm living by myself here. I left to go hiking and camping and I have amazing roommates. They were like roommates and friends. Last year I experienced my first camping with my roommates. Actually. Yeah, we went to Zion National Park and that was a really good experience of camping. I did some hikes in Logan last year. I love the views and the places you see on the hikes. Yeah, now I'm living by myself. I have amazing friends and roommates. I work at CRIC, at Cache Refugee and Immigrate Connection resettlement office in Logan. Yeah.
Hilary: You picked a good spot to camp for your first time. I wanted to say that.
Abbas: Absolutely, that is correct.
Hilary: I'm love Zions Nation Park, Its one of my most favorite places to be.
Jen: I’ve never been there
Hilary: Oh well you gotta go. It is out of I think out of all of Utah's national parks it is my favorite.
Jen: Is that where arch is?
Hilary: The most beautiful there are arches there, but no, that is different. So. And I'm so glad to hear that. Logan was a welcoming, friendly place for you.
Abbas: Oh, thank you. Actually that is really true. I have great experience of having and making new friends in this community. The first person that I met was coming to work on my air conditioning at my apartment, and we chatted for a little bit and he asked me that. Do you have any roommates here because it's a big apartment. You were just by yourself often, I said. Yeah, I'm a refugee and I from Afghanistan, and I barely moved here and I met that person in my apartment, and now he and his wife are really the greatest people that I met them. I celebrated Christmas Eves with them for the last two years. Yeah, I sometimes they come to me and sometimes I go to them to visit them. Other than that, I have. So actually I met their sons who helped me with making or preparing some resumes. He brought me a laptop from his friends, really amazing friends, amazing people in this community, my neighbors. Uh, the fun fact about my neighbors I had all capitals neighbors that they live with. Yeah, in that neighborhood for a few months, like 5 months. And after that, I had to move from that place. And I lost contact with them. It is over a year, but. It was yesterday that a good thing happened. I didn't notice that they passed me. I had a contact of them and I was texting them a few times, but I didn't get any response. But yesterday when I saw the card that they sent it to me when I was working at CRIC. I saw there was a number and I sent a text message to that number and I hear back from them. That is really good and I'm so happy that I and I have that in my on my schedule for this weekend to go and visit them once again. Yeah, they moved from that. It is over a year and I'm so glad that I have their new address and I can go to visit them. This Cache Valley is really a friendly place. They really respect refugees, help a lot with refugees, and personally I experienced that in my life and I see because I work in a resettlement office in Logan, in Cache Valley, I see that in real life that, yeah. This community is so helpful for the refugees, yeah.
Hilary: So, I'm thinking to myself, and I I'm guessing that there are a lot of people that are thinking this you mentioned about that first individual you met and how helpful they were. If we know of refugees that are in our neighborhood that are in our area what's the best? Way we can provide support and help to them.
Abbas: I think the best thing would be to say hi because that way you make a kind of communication with them. As you interact with refugees and the new families that they come to your neighborhood, so you will find out the needs and the supports that they need. So that way you can make a kind of friendship, neighborhood and community, and also find out their needs and you can support them and you can share their needs with. If you can't afford all of those supports that they need so you can talk to your neighbors or friends and that way the world will spread out and other people in this community. They are willing to help too. OK, that is what I experienced. I remember that the first week that I moved to my apartment, I there wasn't any people that I could talk in my apartment to. So that way I could get out, take a walk and come back. And I was seeing that my neighbors. Just sitting in front of the apartment and just I was saying hi and that way we made a kind. Communication and we share personal information about we talked about our families and friends. We shared about our experiences to each other. That way when they wrote that letter to me and I was really emotionally, I was really emotion that. Oh, I had said. Never heard such great neighbors in that place and they really thought about me to write that letter and send me. Some stuff, yeah.
Jen: I remember moving from Arizona. That's where I grew up and coming here to Cache Valley. It was a big culture shock for me because. It was like city. Where I was living. And then they come here and that was 20 some odd years ago. So, it was a lot smaller than it is now, but that was one thing that I always loved was people sitting down in front or when they're driving down the road. And then I was just waiting and it's like, OK, I can handle this.
Hilary: Well, and I think I love the advice that you share because I made the assumption. But I think most people want to help. They're just not exactly sure how, and I love that you're making it so simple as just saying. Just say hello. Just say hello. Yeah, and start talking. And when you start talking, you're going to find out not only about them, but about maybe potential needs they have. And then you can find ways in assisting and help providing for what they need.
Abbas: That's true. Yes, that's true. The good news is that Cache Valley is having more refugees. This year and the coming years, because CRIC is now an official resettlement office, that refugees are assigned to CRIC. Then CRIC can help them to find new houses and jobs for refugees, so that way. They can be resettled in Cache Valley and I'm so happy that we. That we would have more refugees in this friendly country, yeah.
Hilary: Yes. And I think that's really good for Cache Valley in general. Because we are a very welcoming friendly community. But I like the idea that more diversity is
Abbas :Yes, yes, yes.
Hilary: So, I'm curious, when you did come here, was there a choice as to, hey, I want to pick Logan or how does that work?
Abbas: That's a good question. This is a question that says I have been living in Logan. So many people ask this question. When we had the conversation. How did you end up to Logan and Cache Valley? To be honest, when I the first state that I was, I entered to the US was Virginia the place that is called National Conference Center. There were hundreds of Afghan refugees that they were coming from around the world. To that place and IRC was helping them to find new places that they can go either instead that they want if they had any US ties. But about me personally, I didn't have any US ties like it should be your immediate family members. Like, if your if you have cousins, siblings or parents are living in the US or you have their contacts. So unfortunately I didn't have those contacts. I had just only one friend. In Logan, the Cache refugee and Immigrant connection was helping them. So, I asked my friend to give that kind of contact information from CRIC’s staff that I can talk to and I if they can help me to can to Utah. So that way my friend shared the contact of a case worker from CRIC and that way I contact her that I said I sent some information from myself that hey, this is Abbas Eshani, I'm a refugee in National Conference Center in Virginia and I want to come to Utah Logan. So that way I ended up to Logan. Yeah.
Hilary: OK. It's just I am very unfamiliar with that process, so I thought we're such a small town. So I'm curious how people find us, but usually it's because there is a contact somewhere.
Abbas: There, there's a contact. Yes, behind that decision that I wanted to move to Utah. Was some of the research that I had when I was staying for 34 days in Virginia that I was Googling that which is that could be the best place to go for the 1st place that for a refugee that can't afford everything, like housing for the job so. We really don't have that, what website I was searching or I could find out that Utah, Utah was the 2nd state on that ranking that yeah, Utah is a good place for refugee because housing are really affordable and jobs are really good jobs opportunity. So that way I decided to move to Utah because I just wanted to get independent and self-sufficient at the soonest that I could.
Jen: How was it coming to the United States? Like, had you been here before or was this your first time?
Abbas: You know, this is, yeah. This was my first experience in my life. And yeah, it was as you shared about some culture shock, I did have that culture shock too. So, but I was kind of preparing myself that, yeah, there's a new country. They, these people have their own culture, the way that they communicate, the way that they talk. That they the way that they interact with people. So, I was kind of prepared myself for that culture shock when I moved to there then and I came to the US when I moved to Logan, I saw different things in people's life that were way. From the culture or the way that we do in Afghanistan? Yeah. But one thing that could help me to get adjusted fast was being. Then to best culture shock and day by day, you'll get adjusted and the your life will be smooth and everything gets normal. Yeah, yeah.
Hilary: I'm curious, was there anything specific that was most shocking to you when it came to our culture that you would have never thought we do or don't do?
Abbas: One thing that I personally experienced in my new home. Was the way that people interact or start some kind of conversation with when a person or his friends or a stranger. In Afghanistan it is not very strict if you just go to a person and talk to them. But here in the in the US it is I think it is a little bit different you have to earn that trust first. And just then you can communicate more. But in Afghanistan you can invite some people to your house or get some food to them. Share some foods. That way the communication source and that trust them. So it is a little it was a little bit shocked to me, but yeah, it was fine. I got, yeah, I'm getting used to it, yeah.
Jen: I would struggle in your hometown then. Because I'm like ohh strangers.
Hilary: We are both welcoming, but also still love our own space at the same time
Jen: It’s true! I need to get over my fear. It’s an irrational fear I need to get over
Hilary: So, thinking of your journey, what has probably been the most difficult part of it, the most difficult transition?
Abbas: The most difficult transition was being away my family and I miss my siblings, my parents, the city. That I grew up there. And I was waiting for 30 years. It was a big shock, and it was really hard to leave everything behind and start your life in a new place. That was a little bit it was not. I shouldn't say a little bit. It was really hard because the first week, the first two weeks I didn't have contact with my family and they were really worried about this, about me too. And as soon as I got contacted with them and so that way I could manage kind of control on emotional feelings that. Yeah, my parents really. I was talking with my mom and I every single time that I was talking to my mom, she was crying and don't do that, mom. Don't do that. I'm OK. And I have. I have my new apartment here. I have my new life here. I have enough food. I'm making friends here. Yeah, and that way, day by day it got. Yeah, it got better. And that was a big shock for me. One thing that could help me to that trauma was having the skill of speaking English. And make communication with other people, or talk to other people. That way you could just talk to people and spend some time to, you know, with them. And it was really helpful. I remember the first time that I saw some other Afghans in Cache Valley. They didn't have the language skill, they couldn't speak English and they were really feeling alone and it was really hard. They needed help in every aspects of life to go to a store and get some groceries. They were asking me to help them sometimes or they wanted to send. You know, some money back to their family. Those sorts of things was really hard and I personally thought that my friends or my people from my country, they were struggling with that. But having this skill of the language that the people are speaking their country is really helpful to get out of that trauma, or to control that trauma.
Hilary: So, I'm assuming that you already knew how to speak English before you arrived. Or did you learn that when you came over?
Abbas: Thank you for your question. Yeah, personally, my language skill. I learned English in my country and I when I was going to high school and I started when I could read from high school, I started teaching English in an English Center in Afghanistan for a couple years and that way, I yeah, I had the language skill when I came to, yes.
Hilary: I was going to be very impressed that you have picked this up so eloquently in two years but still it's still an accomplishment, so that's very cool
Abbas: Thank you so much. It is. Yeah, it is getting better and I'm trying hard. Yeah. Yeah. To get to that point that when I talk to people, they might not get that. I'm not a native speaker.
Jen: Well, I've heard that English is one of the hardest languages to learn.
Hilary: Well like is for our own children trying to figure out things. It, I'm assuming it is hard to kind of find that balance of embracing this new culture but still having you know your culture that. You have growing up and I'm guessing a lot of individuals when they come here to the US have a hard time doing that. So how do you find that balance of maintaining the old and embracing the new?
Abbas: That's a good question. I think it would be a little bit hard for refugee families if they have their kids and their because personally like myself, one thing that could help me was being open and being open to everything that you see in this new place. The way that people leave the way that people interact or make communication those. Sort of thing is really hard because you might have experience that that happens in your own country, very different than here. But one thing that could help me to balance those differences was being open as much as I could interact with people I could find out more differences and more find out. Help me that to adjust myself to that. Yeah. To those new cultural differences that I see in the community. Yeah. That way I it could help me to balance those sort of cultural difference.
Jen: You want to keep your native culture and all of that you want to keep that but. You want to learn. I would assume that you want to learn and be a part of the Community.
Hilary: That's why I love that you've found this balance of like combining the best of both worlds.
Abbas: Yes, yes, as Jan said. It is very helpful. So, everybody wants to keep their own culture and their own traditional. But if you want to have a very normal life and simple life and you shouldn't have any kind of concerns living in a new place. Or be open. Just find out as much as you can the differences and you can see that. People leave, but it might be some few things different. Between 2 cultures and you can adjust it as much as you be open as much as you have your research and find the differences, yeah.
Jen: Being open and anything, it's just a good.
Hilary: I was like that is just great life advice in general just opened and new experiences. Yeah, exactly. And allow yourself to embrace. Yeah. Like the new. I just think that's really cool. Do you? Do you see yourself living in Logan's long term?
Abbas: I am so to be honest, I'm still struggling moving from Logan or staying in Logan because I really love this place. Really love this community. I don't want to go to a new place and start over again that I can't promise. I don't want to promise Cache Valley that I will stay here for that. That is not something that I have decided yet and. Uh, I don't know. Life has so many things coming and I don't see myself to move out of Logan and Utah but also staying in Utah.
Hilary: That's alright. Be open like you said. Be open to the experience and if life takes you somewhere, I'm sure that you will be they'll be just as lucky to have you as we have been as well. So you mentioned CRIC. And I know that some of our listeners are probably somewhat familiar with that organization and others may not be at all. So can you tell us a little bit about CRIC.
Abbas: For sure. What CRIC is, Cache Refugee and Immigrant Connection is a resettlement office in Logan in Cache Valley. We are helping new refugees, new families, that they come from other countries to the to the, to the United States. We help those families to get resettled. We find houses and we help them to get benefits. Like food stamp, cash and apple resources that we have in the Community and to the States. While there, while we find them jobs that they can start having income and get self-sufficient at the soonest, as they can, because. Relying on the benefits that you receive from the government or from the states, that is not enough for a family, for even, for an individual, and as soon as you start having jobs. So that way you could be self-sufficient as personally I experienced that. My life here as well, so we do help refugees with finding jobs and we where to send your kids to school and if they want to go to college, we help them with that generally Cache Refugee and Immigrant Connection, helping welcoming the new refugees and helping, yeah, helping them to get resettled in Cache Valley.
Hilary: OK, an amazing resource and so needed. That is fantastic.
Abbas: Yes, that is an amazing place to work with and the I am personally working there as a case manager. I really love my job helping refugees with their needs and help them to find their new home, the best place of a new. Yeah. In the new country.
Hilary: And for our community members. Are there are ways we can volunteer and help?
Abbas: Sure. We have volunteers, opportunities. In different areas like housing, like walking, walk in hours, we have different like donation drive or doors or the volunteers opportunities that if the Community wants to have that interaction with CRIC and with refugees. We really welcome them and we would be really happy to have them that quick, yeah.
Hilary: Very cool. I love that, And obviously CRIC is Cache Valley, but. Are there other agencies very similar in other parts of the US that you know of?
Abbas: So yeah, we are actually we are a local resettlement office we are helping to that church will service or CWS, the national partner to help refugees or welcoming refugees that there are other organizations and voice element. Organizations or offices not in Cache Valley but outside the Cache Valley in Salt Lake that they are helping like. Or ICS, those are the other refugees or national partners that they are helping with refugees as well.
Hilary: OK. Yeah. Perfect. Oftentimes when we talk about resiliency. When we share these stories, we hear about strengths that the individuals have that have helped them. You know, go through these difficult times. And so, when you look at yourself personally, are there certain strengths and skills that you have that that you can see have really helped support you during this time?
Abbas: Yes. One of the thing about refugees that I see is that they might have. They might have a very professional jobs in their in their home countries, but when you move in or when you come to the United States, so you will definitely need a job to support your family. I would say that if you are looking to have a very professional job in the US, it takes some time. But the good option would be that to be, as I said, to be open if you really want to support your family to be open to any kind of job that you can start at the soonest. That way you can find you can make some better opportunities for yourself to go to school or go to or takes short term courses that you can make a career for yourself and that way you can build a better life for yourself and the family so one of that strength. I personally had to be open. It was I think this is something that really could help me with that. I was. I didn't expect to go or to have a very professional job. I didn't. I didn't expect to go for example to have an office environment job. So, I was open to any kind of job that could help me to get some stuff. Being open to anything can help you with that, with your life in the US and the strength that help me with that in my personal life was being open. I started my first job at a production company and sorry, my first job was actually working as a TA at English Language Center. Helping other refugees to learn English, the second job was my for me was working in a production company and that way I could make some skills and job backgrounds or experiences that could help me to apply for other jobs. Yeah. Having the language skill and being open doors or the strength that I had and helped me through my life, yeah.
Jen: I think it's so sad that people come and they have these jobs, as you know, doctors, accountants, engineers, all of these things and they can't use those skills once they come to the US and I'm like, isn't there just a test that they can show that they're competent and be done with it? And allow them to use their skills that they have.
Abbas: Actually, sorry, regarding to what you were saying, we there are some resources that the refugee can evaluate their documents and they can work. So it takes time and as much as you if you wait, so you may lose time. But if you start working in the mean time you do evaluation of your documents, that way you can make work experiences. In the US and that can help part of your resume and apply for a new job when your documents get evaluated, yeah.
Jen: Time is always a hard thing because it's like you need to work. You want to be able to sustain your family? Yes, and. But here, wait. A little while, Then we'll let you use your skills. And that is just. I see it both ways. I understand both ways, but it's just frustrating, yeah.
Hilary: So, sky is the limit. You can do whatever you want here in the US. Where? Where? Where you where? Would you love to see yourself eventually? What? What profession? What would you? Want life to look like?
Abbas: Thank you for that amazing question. That is a question actually every time that I ask myself, it helps me to try a lot and work hard more than I did. I want to be web development engineer. I am currently learning how to build the website and that is my something that I want to make that career for my future and I want to. I see myself in a few years that to work in a big country in a big sorry in a big company for as effective lopper and that is what I really want.
Hilary: Very cool. Well, well, I mean with how quickly. Technology is going we're going to need people like you so.
Abbas: Yeah. Yeah. Technology is that technology the way that the fast, the way and the fast, the technology is changing is really inquire people to have that sort of knowledge to make those changes. Yeah, very cool.
Hilary: OK, I've got one more question for you. So, for those individuals that are, you have a unique story and we recognize that, but there may be some individuals that are listening that have had or may at some point have similar experiences. So, if you could offer maybe one final piece of feedback. To those individuals listening, what would it be?
Abbas: The only thing that I could say is that uh. United States is known as the land of opportunity and that is really true as not something imagination. It is some. Really some? So work hard, do whatever you want and see yourself where you want to be. And this is the place. This is the country that you really would be able to get there never give up, just work hard and always have your hopes alive and you will get there.
Hilary: Yeah. Awesome. Thank you for that reminder, because I think that is a good reminder for all of us to recognize that we are blessed and that we have the ability to aspire to whatever we want to be so, I appreciate that.
Abbas: Thank you.
Jen: Thank you. Well, thank you so much for coming today. We really appreciate that.
Abbas: Thank you so much for your time and having me here for the podcast. One thing that I really want to say. Before we end up this podcast is I am really thankful of this friendly community that we have in Cache Valley and the friendly people that they are helping refugees in any way that they can. I really appreciate that. Thank you. Cache Valley, and thank you this friendly community.
Jen: Well, thank you. That's very kind to you and it's you are a pleasure to be with and to talk with and so thank you for coming.
Abbas: Thank you. It's my pleasure.
Jen: All right. Thank you listeners for coming today. We appreciate you coming. We want to remind you to be kind and patient with yourself and we will see you back here next week.
Thank you for listening to the Parents Place podcast. If you would like to reach us, you can at parents@thefamilyplaceutah.org or you can reach Jen on Facebook. Jen Daly – The Family Place. Please check out our show notes for any additional information. Our website is TheFamilyPlaceUtah.org. If you're interested in any of our upcoming virtual classes, we'd love to see you there.
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1. CRIC: https://cacherefugees.org/volunteer
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