Christmas is FOUR. DAYS. AWAY! Do you have all of your Christmas shopping done? Or are there still a few things you are missing? Jennifer Anderson gives us ideas on last minute gifts to give this holiday season that are outside of the box and meaningful! Stress less, focus on family, and give awesome gifts with these great tips.
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Jen: Hello and welcome to the Parents Place, a podcast put out by The Family Place for parents to develop skills that will strengthen families and provide tools that will help each of us in our parenting efforts. No matter our skills, we can always use reminders that help us work towards a safer, happier home. I'm your host, Jennifer Daly, the Education Director at the Family Place and my co-host is Sara Hendricks, a family educator at the Family Place. Every week, we will interview professionals that will provide valuable information that will make a difference when you apply it directly to your life. Thank you for joining us. Now, let's get started with today's episode.
So welcome to the Parents Place podcast, I'm Jen Daly, your host, and of course, we have Sara Hendricks here, our co-host.
Sara: Hello!
Jen: We hope that you have been enjoying this wonderful holiday season and making memories and having fun with your families this year more than any before. We are needing to be creative in how we are spending our time for the holidays, and we hope that our podcasts have been helpful with some ideas and get your creative juices flowing. Our guest today is going to give us even more ideas on last minute gifts. I'm really looking forward to this episode because I am totally a last-minute gift purchaser and so we will have Jennifer Anderson. That's going to be giving us some great ideas. So, Jen, I'm supposed to call you, Jennifer, so we don't get each other confused. Welcome to our podcast, and can you just tell us a little bit about yourself?
Jennifer: Thank you! I'm really excited to be here! Yes, my name is Jennifer Anderson. I am the advancement director at the Family Place. I've been here for two years and I first started out in the education department working with Jen and Sara and a bunch of other wonderful people on that team. So I have a very special place in my heart for the education team. My degree is from Brigham Young University and family life, education and psychology, and I actually grew up all over the country as my father was in the Air Force, so I lived mainly on the coast because he didn't like the snow. And then he retired to Utah when I was in college and now I live where it snows and I love it. So I love the beach and I love the mountains. I'm married, I have three adult children, two of them are married and I have two adorable grandkids. So and I love the outdoors, so I live in the perfect location to be able to enjoy all of that. And I really love the Family Place, so I'm excited to be here.
Sara: Well, Jennifer, we're so excited that you are here and we definitely miss you in the education department. But you're doing so many amazing things in advancement that really it would be selfish of us to try to get you to come back to education. It's also funny because so I grew up in Arizona, very much in the heat and desert, and I've been in Utah now for almost 15 years and I'm still not enjoying the snow! So I'm a little jealous that you adjust so well and that you love the snow and the beach. I wish I could say the same! Let's jump in with our first question. Christmas is only four days away! So do you have ideas that you can give us for some last minute gifts that maybe aren't tangible or that are gifts that are outside of the box?
Jennifer: So, you know, this year we've talked a lot about self-care. I don't know. I've heard a lot about self-care. I've tried to do a lot of self-care. And now four days from Christmas, I'm sure there's a lot of people like myself that are thinking, “Oh no, four days1” So I would first say with these last-minute gift ideas, be good to yourself and be good to the people in your life that are trying to do these last-minute gift ideas. Jen, I know you said that your last-minute purchaser. So I would like to suggest kind of different areas and ways that you could give these last minute gifts. So when you're thinking about self-care, got self in there. So I would say make it personal for that person, maybe instead of purchasing something that it could be the gift of Self that you give in time or interest in them. Specifically, think about the person that you want to give this gift to. And even if you are purchasing something, what would be meaningful to them? Not so much you, but what would be meaningful to them? Some of the things I think back to my own childhood and also for my children when they were younger, I absolutely love the coupon books. All of us have the supplies in our house right now, so you wouldn't even have to go out and get any supplies if you didn't want to and let their own creativity tap into each one of those areas they're going to be spending time in. Having those coupons redeemed and also in creating the gifts. So the creation of the gift is part of the gift. And if there are too little to write, they can draw a picture of what they would want to do. What would they want that to look like for that person that they're giving the gift to you and really talk to them about what that gift would mean to the person that they were giving? My favorite was that when my kids would say that there was a coupon for them to make me dinner.
Now, depending on their age, including teenage age, I wasn't always really interested in redeeming that coupon, but I just thought it was so sweet that they would want to try to make something they maybe thought I would like to eat. Even though it would usually turn out to be toast or chocolate milk or something like that. But just the fact that they would think about it and want to spend that time with me and then having them give me that gift and be so excited about that. I think it can be very meaningful, especially this year, because we've had more time with our families or we've been given the opportunity to spend more time with our families to really get to know them. And I just see it as a really wonderful way to connect with them. So I would say pay attention to their hobbies. If you want it to be something that's more tangible, you could put together a family fun night basket and include the whole family and have specific things for those individuals. So maybe if it's last minute and it seems too stressful to focus on just the one person, you could focus on your family. What does your family like to do together? And it could be a puzzle. It could be ways that would be meaningful for you to spend time together.
Jen: They'd like the coupon book because it's not just a one-time gift. I mean, for the most part, that is a gift that keeps giving throughout. However, many coupons you hav and how often you want to turn them in. I also really liked what you said, just giving the time of yourself. I mean, yes, we've spent a lot of time together with our families, but everyone loves to have that one on one time with people that we love. And so really just setting aside some time to be with them and maybe just be that person that's just listening. I think what a great gift that is just being there and listening and allowing them just to talk and do whatever they need to do and have it be about them and not about you and what you want to do. So I think that's a great idea.
Jennifer: Part of my experience, too, now that my kids are older and I'm still giving gifts to them, is when I ask them what some of the most meaningful gifts from their childhood that they can remember. They might have one or two, you know, like their first bike or, you know, always asking for a dog but never getting one. They like to bring that up, but the things that are the most meaningful to them are exactly what you said. They will remember the time that we spent together, even if it was that I got them the bike. It would be in teaching them how to ride the bike and then going on the family bike ride or planning a special outing around that gift. And it can be small, it doesn't have to be as big as a bike. It could be truly it could be like a nerf ball from the dollar store. But it was with the coupon that I would spend an afternoon with them playing or doing whatever they wanted, which I would recommend that you might want to consider an expiration date on the coupons. How many they can redeem at one time. And also don't open yourself up to situations that might be really outside your comfort zone. I remember one of my boys wanting to go do something that involved heights as part of his activity, and I really don't like super high heights. I really love adventure, but I had to explain“ It’s little higher than I'd like to do it. How about we modify it and do it this way instead?” So you might some of those things you might want to be a little more specific on, but it's really fun, especially when you see kids stop to think about the person that they're giving it to. I guess that would be, you know, the interest in them, the time that was spent. And then if they were spending money, how they felt about what they purchase, did they just get something to get it? Or was it to go along with the gift that they were giving or the intention or the sentiment, even if it's not a coupon book.
Sara: Well, it's so funny that you bring up the expiration dates on the coupons because my mother in law just recently came across a bunch from when her kids were little. They're all adults now, but none of them have expiration dates on them. And she's joked about that she's going to cash all of them in and she's going to get breakfast in bed and the dishes are going to get cleaned. And so I just kind of funny that she's like saying that she's going to use a now joking or not, I'm not sure! Maybe my husband is going to be doing a lot of chores at her house.
Jennifer: I totally think she should cash in on them. I think that's part of it as well is to allow that, that humor and that childlike sense of wonder when it comes to it. Let the kids be kids with it! If you're looking for last minute gifts for them, don't stifle that. Don't try to, especially if it's something that they're thinking about another person. You bring up a good point with that if they really want to give something to someone because they know they’d really like it, like say their dad has a beard and they want to give them a can of shaving cream because they think that would be really fun or it would be helpful. Let them get the shaving cream! It doesn't have to be something that you think that you would give. Let the child give from their child's heart. Let it be personal from them. I think a lot of times kind of squashed their wonder when it comes to gift giving and try to pigeonhole them into what an appropriate gift would be when it's really not that at all. It's just their own creativity of what they want to give.
Jen: It makes me think of my oldest stepdaughter. She is oh, she's 22 now, but a couple of years ago, she gave her dad this treasure box and their favorite movie, and when she was growing up was Hook and they loved the little a bag of marbles of memories. I think it was that they kept in that bag. And so she had made a treasure box and got the little clear marble rock kind of things from a craft store. And she wrote down memories that she had enjoyed throughout her childhood on those clear rocks and put them in this treasure box, and then gave her a little saying of whenever you're having a hard time to go to your treasure box of memories. And he kept that while he was still at work, he's home now working from home and he has it here at home. But every time he had a bad day at work, he had that little treasure box to where he could open it up, pull out a rock and be reminded of a great memory that the two of them had shared. So I think you can be really creative in the things that you do for your kids and get outside of that box.
Jennifer: I love that! That is such a beautiful gift, and it was making me think, you know, I'm sure you've talked about this before. The mission of the Family Place is to strengthen families and protect children, and I think is specific to this idea of last minute gifts. Perhaps keeping in mind, is this gift going to strengthen the relationship with this person or is it just giving a gift to mark it off the list? So I really like that and look at how long that gifts affect that impact of that gift has lasted. And I am sure even with you telling me I'm thinking, I'm going to do that for my adult children, you know, I could share with them memories that I have with them and to continue strengthening that relationship with them. I love that. And even though they're not in my household anymore, I still have a family that I'm strengthening those relationships with. And so I think that's a timeless concept of wanting to continue to strengthen those connections with the people that are important to us.
Sara: So I have another idea that I want to just throw out there that my husband and I are actually going to do this year. I feel like subscription boxes are like all the rage for families, and we were thinking about like, how can we do a spin off of subscription boxes with his family because they're all fairly local here in Utah. And we thought it would be really fun to have each family. So there's four kids, plus his parents would be five families participating that rotate puzzles out of our own home. And so we would take a puzzle that we enjoy doing and pass it to somebody else in the family. And it would like once a month, these puzzles rotate. And with that, every time the family puts the puzzle together, they write a message on the back. And so as you're getting another puzzle, you get to read all the messages that have been written on the back and then you add your own before you pass it on. And so for Christmas, we actually, hopefully my in-laws aren't listening. We got my father in law, a puzzle that my husband is planning to put together before we give it to him so he can write a message on the back to try to get this sort of subscription idea put together to kick it off on Christmas Day.
Jen that's an awesome idea!
Jennifer: That is a great idea! So just to clarify, it's one puzzle for the whole extended family and you just start with the one family?
Sara: So the one puzzle that we're giving to my in-laws, that one is hopefully going to circulate through everybody. But the original idea is that all of us contribute a puzzle so that we all have a puzzle every month to work on. So it would be five puzzles that are in circulation, and we would all get those five puzzles within, you know, if we have them for a month at a time, in five months, we've gone through all five puzzles and then we would start with five more puzzles, you know, and just keep that circulation going.
Jennifer: I really love that idea!
Jen: So one of my most favorite things that I love about working at a nonprofit is this time of year and the generosity of our community, and it just makes you feel so happy. Knowing that people are thinking about others. So, Jennifer, I was just wondering what kinds of places can people donate to if they're not necessarily buying for children or if they're just wanting to give to a great cause? What are some ideas of donating within our communities?
Jennifer: It's a great question, yes, because we talked about the gift of time and how that can keep on giving. I'll tell you, starting with the Family Place, for the month of December, we have a generous donor that is doing a donor match up to $50000 dollar for dollar the whole month of December. So what that means is no matter what the level, it could be, a dollar could be $10. It could be $100, $3000. That's going to be matched. And that gift of giving that monetary amount will go towards the services that the Family Place offers all year long. So that's for our whole community. And when you talk about the generosity, that's just one way that people can give that is actually giving money. But we also have volunteer opportunities that people can give that gift of time, not just in the month of December, but all year long. Just a variety of ways, it's almost like a menu when you go in to see the available volunteer opportunities! It's not just one specific way that you could volunteer your time. And then again, we talk about that interest, participate in the things that we're doing in the community. We have all kinds of classes and activities and events, even during COVID, we've had those! We've modified them to be safe and healthy in the community and the people that are participating in followed all the guidelines. But we've still been here the whole time, making sure that our community knows that we're here for them, we're here for them and their families.
So to continue looking for that, you can go on our website to find all those different things. Also on our website is a resource tab. So if there are other services or things that an individual or a family would need that perhaps the family place doesn't specifically provide, you can find those other resources in the community that way because there are so many great causes. And again, it's about making it personal. What speaks to your heart? There is most likely an organization that needs your interest, your time and your money. You don't just have to pick one. You don't just have to pick the Family Place. You can find other places that speak to your heart, and the cause is their mission. So I would say just to explore that and starting on the Family Place website is a great place to start. And there's a variety of other ways that you can find those organizations. But again, it's not just about December, it's about all year long. And it's wonderful we were talking about with kids, right? We read them stories. Most of them are fictional. If you really want to hear these wonderful stories about the kind of giving that happens in our community this time of year, especially the holiday season where we're focused on giving. But throughout the whole year, you can read real stories to your children from our website that talk about the impact of what has happened because of people that have been able to receive, not only from generosity in the community, but from services in the Family Place. And what I have found in connecting with those stories and when I've heard them or I've told them to other people is I can see myself easily being part of that story. Either participating by giving or by receiving those things. Because the things that the Family Place does are not specific to any one group of people or based on circumstances or a certain demographic, it's for every single person. And so we want every person to be aware of what they are and just what a difference that it makes to the one, the one person that makes it personal.
Jen: I like the idea of volunteering because that can be done any time throughout the year. I have recently just been getting involved a lot with the horse things that we're doing at the Family Place, and it has brought such calmness and peace in my life to work with the horses. And so I've thought a lot about volunteering at a horse stable. I would love to find somewhere where I could just go and groom horses, but you can do that with your kids. I mean, like you said, your kids asked for a dog but never got a dog. But you can go and volunteer at your local shelter and do that with your child, and then they have lots of dogs that they can play with. So I think volunteering is a great way to reach out to any. Non profit agency within your communities and helping in that way.
Jennifer: I like that and I, you know, I would also encourage my children to go offer to take care of our neighbor's pets. So yes, you can absolutely go to a non-profit, and I highly encourage that! I also think it's great to start right outside your front door to look around and see what those needs are and be able to offer that. And those last-minute gifts can be to your neighbors, as well as the people that you interact with on a regular basis of giving them that gift of time and interest in them and wanting to try to be a part of their lives and express gratitude. I think we've hit on all those points, the difference that they've made in your life. I think it's wonderful to teach children that that it, that there's a lot of joy that comes from giving and looking for ways to give.
Another thing just to point out that we have right now, if you're looking for that last minute gift idea that could be meaningful is in both of the Lee’s marketplaces in Logan and Smithfield, we have what are called the starfish giving machine. And there are these awesome vending machines that are bright blue with our starfish on them. And they say the Family Place and inside our individual cards that represent different needs and services from the Family Place. And it ranges from a dollar to a hundred dollars that you can go find what speaks to you and be able to purchase that. And you can take that actual card and give it as a gift that you purchase that for someone and give it to them as a gift. Knowing that that that monetary gift actually came to the Family Place, it was matched by the donor and those services could be provided throughout the whole year, not just the month of December. And if you're not wanting to go into the grocery store or your schedule's too packed for you to find yourself there, that same exact giving machine is online with the exact same cards and the amounts, and so you can participate online. And that could be a really fun way to let your kids be able to give in the community and participate with those in need, but to be able to do it virtually, and you can print off the card after you make that donation on our website.
Sara: Yes! What I love about that is that you don't have to be local to participate in that giving machine because it's online. So we've talked a little bit about this next question that I'm going to ask you. So let's just see if there's any more that you want to add on. So how can we teach our kids the importance of giving this time of year? But then also when they do receive gifts, how do we teach them to receive that with gratitude instead of just being greedy and wanting more or being ungrateful for what it is that they got?
Jennifer: So I would say one of the things in receiving a gift and expressing gratitude instead of being greedy. I remember part of my Christmas and birthday was my mom would set up a TV tray. I don't know if anybody knows what those are anymore. She set up a TV tray and I would sit at the TV tray and before I even played with my gifts, she would have paper and pen or crayons for me to write a quick, sincere, heartfelt thank you to the person. It said their name. It said, “Thank you for specifically what they gave me” and to tell them, “I love you”. And to sign my name. So going back to making it personal, I think it's really basic, but so necessary that we express gratitude directly to the person for specifically what they did for us and that we love them what our connection is with them. So maybe different words, different ways of doing it. I don't know that they have TV trays anymore. It could be done electronically, but to make it heartfelt and teaching them that it's important to express that and to do it in a timely manner to not just the next time you see them or if they bring it up and ask you what you thought about the gift. But to proactively express that gratitude, it's really simple way. But that skill, that habit will go a long way into their adult years because then it can be for any level of what they receive. It could be for a kind word. It could be for service that was given to them. It could be for an actual, tangible item. It could be for getting a job. You know, it could be for a number of things. But to be able to express that, I think, is really important. This past year, with the pandemic, we've seen so much need. I know we've seen an increase in need of services at the Family Place.
I know every single person has seen an increase in the needs that they've had themselves and within their community. And I would just point those real life stories out to our children in our lives and validate that, that we've seen that and how when there has been just basic kindness of giving whatever way they've given, how it helps alleviate that need to put it on the level that's appropriate for them, age wise. For them to be able to understand and give them real life examples in their lives. I know some of the most meaningful teaching moments with my children have been when I've been able to point out and tell them a story in my own life, when either I received kindness from someone or I was giving kindness to somebody else because they know me and I could tell them a story that was true. It was not fiction. It was real, and they could appreciate knowing how it affected me and why I continue to want to give to others around me, not just at Christmas time, but throughout the whole year and how and then to acknowledge it's wonderful to receive. It feels great to receive! There's nothing wrong with feeling good when you receive a gift, any kind of gift! You can also mirror that same feeling of joy and satisfaction when you're the one actually giving it and pointing out how good that makes them feel when they do that.
I would also say include them in gift giving that you're doing so even if it's not to them. I love taking them with me whenever I was going to do volunteering or service or giving a gift. I loved having my kids with me, and I always made sure that they either taped the thank you or the note with the person's name on it, or they had some small part in it so that when we got there, or I was relaying to the person later that this child actually helped me with that gift or that service or that volunteer time so that they could feel like they were a part of it. Even if it was just a small part, then they didn't just feel like they were the sidekick to then observing all of that happening. But they really felt a sense of “Wow that did feel good. And yes, I did help with that!” And then they did more the next time, and as they grew older, they knew how to do it on their own because they watched me model it and they were there when it happened.
Jen: I remember years ago we had this little boy walk into work and it was right before Christmas, and he had the laundry basket full of his old toys. And what his mom had taught him to do was every year before Christmas came to go through his toys that he didn't play with anymore and then go and take them, and he donated him to the Family Place because part of our services there is the starfish shelter. And so bringing it to the place where kids come for shelter. So they had toys. I remember seeing him every couple of years come and just bring a laundry basket full of toys. But he was always so excited to give them. So kids who may not have toys could play with them while they were at our facility. So going and finding a shelter for children or domestic violence shelter where families can go and teach your kids to go through their toys and then donate their toys to kids who may not have them. I always thought that was a great idea. So, Jennifer, you've given us so many great ideas and things to think about. Do you have any final thoughts for this Christmas season that can benefit our listeners?
Jennifer: Well, as I've been thinking about giving the gift of self and how to make a difference for the one, I'm making it personal. I recently read a quote that I think sums it up for me during this Christmas season, and it's for Martin Luther King Jr. And he says “Life's most persistent and urgent question is what are you doing for others?”
Sara: I love that quote so much that is awesome to think outside of ourselves, not just be thinking about what we're getting, but what are we doing for others and making a difference for that one that needs us? Jennifer, you have shared so many gems with us. I think this episode is so great, and I hope that it gives our listeners a lot of ideas in these last four days remaining until Christmas. So thank you so much for joining us. To our listeners, I hope you enjoyed our episode this week, of course, but also the episode from last week where we did our Q and A. Jen and I enjoyed doing that episode so much, reading your emails and answering your questions, and I hope that it was beneficial for you, and that's that you would want us to do more episodes like that. So by all means, send us your emails or record your voice, send us questions. You can do that on our Inker app or email us at parents at TheFamilyPlaceUtah.org and you can find us on social media. Jen Daly -The Family Place, Sara Hendricks -The Family Place, that is on Facebook. Thank you so much for joining us today. We hope that you are able to finish up your final Christmas gift giving. And most importantly, we hope you have a safe and merry Christmas.
Thanks again for listening! The Family Places a non-profit organization in Logan, Utah, with a mission to strengthen families and protect children. We call ourselves starfish throwers! If you're unsure what that means, refer back to our introduction episode where we explain it. The good news is you can be a starfish thrower too! By subscribing to the Parents Place podcast and liking our social media pages. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with others and help us get our message out to more people. Also, be sure to check the show notes for links to information referenced in this episode. That's all for now, but we'll catch you again next time on the Parents Place!
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