Jen and Sara give information on how to talk to your children about sexuality in an age appropriate way. This information is meant to be informative for parents and is in no way meant to offend anyone who identifies differently from the language used in this episode. Please take what is said and apply it how you feel best fits your family's needs and identities.
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Jen: Hello and welcome to The Parent’s Place, a podcast put out by The Family Place for parents to develop skills that will strengthen families and provide tools that will help each of us in our parenting efforts. No matter our skills, we can always use reminders that help us work towards a safer, happier home. I'm your host, Jennifer Daly, the education director at The Family Place and my co-host is Sara Hendricks, a family educator at The Family Place. Every week, we will interview professionals that will provide valuable information that will make a difference when you apply it directly to your life. Thank you for joining us. Now, let's get started with today's episode.
Sara: Disclaimer: The information in this episode is meant to be informative for parents and is in no way meant to offend anyone who identifies differently from the language used in this episode. Please take what is said and apply it to how you feel best fits your family's needs and identities. Hello and welcome to the Parents Place podcast. I'm your host, Sara Hendricks,
Jen: and I'm your host Jen Daly.
Sara: So, you may have noticed that we've had some repeat episodes and some episodes that are just with Jen and myself, and today is going to be another one of those, just the two of us. And we have some exciting news as to why that's been happening on our podcast. Do you want to share it, Jen?
Jen: Well, before we were fairly amateurish. Is that a word?
Sara: Let's go. It's definitely the way amateur when it comes to podcasting.
Jen: And through a wonderful grant from our local Bear River Health Department. We have been able to soundproof a room and get some equipment that will help us as well. But with Sarah and I both been social workers, we're not the most tech savvy, so we are having to learn how to use our new technology. And that has been a process and still is a process. But it's been an adventure.
Sara: It's been a super fun adventure, and it's so exciting to see where the podcasts started and where it's headed. And we're so thankful for all of our listeners that have stuck with us, even though our amateur sound quality and working to improve it with every episode that we do. So, we hope that this episode sounds super awesome as far as sound quality goes, and that it will just keep getting better as we advance our knowledge in all of this fun equipment that we have sitting around us right now.
Jen: Yes, I have to give a shout out to bear river health department again because they have believed in us enough to help support our podcast.
Sara: Most definitely. We're super appreciative of them. So, in other news onto today's topic, we're going to be talking about sexuality and what that looks like for children. With this episode, there can be some information that you might not want small ears to overhear. So, we just want to throw out that little caveat that you might want to listen with headphones or listen in privacy. So, you, as the parent, can decide when you want to introduce this information to your children because we are going to be talking about children across all age ranges. And so, if you have small children and we're talking about teenagers, it might not be developmentally appropriate for them to overhear what we're talking about.
Jen: And really, you should be the teacher for your children about this topic. This is just information to help you, like, get a starting point. But really, this information should come from you. So, it's not an episode that you want to sit down and say, OK, kids, here's your lesson on sexuality. That's not what this is for. This is really just to give you a foundation to where then you can kind of tweak it and make it work for your family and where you're comfortable.
Sara: Yep, we're going to give you some talking points, but you take that and apply it for how you want to teach your children.
Jen: OK, so I think we need to just start with the word sexuality because I think I said it in our last podcast about how when I mentioned the word sexuality, people get really nervous and they look down and they don't want to have eye contact and they get really nervous because they think we're just going to talk about sex. And that's not the case. There's a lot more to sexuality than just sex. So, it's teaching your children proper terminologies for their private body parts, teaching them how to keep their body safe. It's, you know, gender identity. It is changes that's going to happen within their bodies. And yes, it does also include sex. But there's, as you can see, there's a lot more in each one of those topics. There's a lot of little mini topics. So, it's a lot more than just the act itself. So, we're going to go through the years and they're kind of grouped together. And so, this is just more of instead of a conversation, necessarily between Sara and I, it's more giving you that information. And of course, we will put our two cents in as well. So, we will start off with infancy and you're thinking, “Oh my goodness, I have to think about infancy zero to one and what is normal sexual development?” Well, of course, we want to start early.
Sara: And this stuff is natural. The body naturally is going through those things, so you might as well have this information and know what your infant is doing and changing in their bodies as their bodies are growing and developing.
Jen: Yes. So, in the uterus, the fetus may suck his or her thumb, fingers and toes. Boys may experience periodic erections and girls may have some vaginal lubrication, and that's just reflexive instead of a sexual feeling. Also, you might notice that they have all of a sudden found their private body parts. And you know, your little one year old is touching themselves more often, but that is again they are exploring, and they figured out that this feels good. So those parts of our bodies even feel good when we're that young. So that's what we have four zero to one like, Sarah had said. It's very natural. These are things that are already happening. So, it's just nice to be aware of those things. It's not anything that you have to teach your zero to one year old. Of course, that's just for your knowledge that this is why things are happening.
Sara: OK, so next we have early childhood, which is ages two to five years old. So, in this stage, a child starts to take more interest in their own body and how it functions, so they're just more aware of what their body is doing. Curiosity about using the bathroom, whereas maybe in infancy, they're not aware of that. It just happens and they don't think twice about it. Well, now they're aware that it's happening and developing more curiosity in that. They also experience curiosity about the differences between sexes. They start to notice that there's differences between them. This is also a time where children ages two to five like to be naked. They start running around without clothes on through the sprinklers or after a bath. You may have noticed that they just find enjoyment in that they think it's fun and silly and aren't thinking of it as anything beyond that. This is also a time where they're wanting to know names for body parts. And as parents, we've talked about this in in past podcasts of how important it is to use the anatomically correct terminology. We cannot emphasize that enough that when we're using fun and cute phrases like “hoo ha” and “ding dong” or whatever words parents come up with, I know a few families that use the term “unit” for their boys. That's not teaching them what those body parts are like. That's not teaching them the anatomically correct names for body parts. And it's really something only your family knows and understands. So, when they say that to somebody else, that family doesn't know what that means. And so, it's it sets up space for abuse to happen, and they don't know how to talk about it to anybody else.
Jen: Yeah, they have found that children who do know proper terminology for their private body parts are less likely, like perpetrators don't like the fact that they know proper terminology because they now know that they're having conversations with their parents. And so that is super important. I remember years ago In a Kid's Empowered, which is abuse prevention program here, a child had asked the question, you know, “when is it too late to see milkshakes?” And the presenter said, “Well, what are you talking about?” Kind of a thing. She had taken him aside privately and asked him, “You know, help me understand what you mean by milkshakes.” And he had had a baby sibling and mom had called her breasts milkshakes because she was feeding the infant, breastfeeding the infant. And that was their terminology. So, I just think if something had happened to a child and they had this terminology of milkshakes and now they go to talk to law enforcement or, you know, someone who is investigating and they're like, “Yeah, I saw them touch my milkshakes or their milkshakes or something like that.” And it just doesn't make sense for that worker like Sara's that that is for that family only. And so, yes, it is so important. And with it comes the embarrassment of in public. Your child is going to say, yes, I have a vagina or I have a penis, or they're going to make some comment that may be embarrassing in front of other people. But really, I think that's something that we need to start to get over of is that embarrassment of talking about our bodies. There's nothing wrong with our bodies and we shouldn't keep those words secret.
Sara: Well, and I think that we're kind of just projecting our adult understanding of these body parts when our children use that terminology. We feel that like shudder of “Oh man, our child just used this word” that feels embarrassing. But for them, it's just a word, and it's just a way to define the specific thing that they're talking about, they're not thinking of it in a sexual way like adults are. And I think we often worry that we're taking away our child's innocence by using these anatomically correct words with our children. But ultimately, we're setting them up to be successful. If abuse happens or things come along, they know exactly what we're talking about, rather than using fun, cutesy words.
Jen: I'm all for going head, shoulders, knees and toes song. And let's include our breasts and our either our penis or vagina. So, because then it just becomes that other word, it's just another body part, and it makes us more comfortable. And I think the earlier we start doing it. So, if we talk to our babies this way, when we're like, “Oh, this is your nose, this is these are your eyes.” If we started doing it, even though our infants aren't understanding it, it's going to make us more comfortable using it when as they grow.
Sara: So, Jen and I obviously can go off on a tangent about something as basic as using correct terminology when talking about private body parts, so back to early childhood ages two to five. This is also a time where children really start to take interest in those potty jokes. They find that humorous, and you get some of the best giggles over some of the most immature things when it comes to those potty jokes. So that's totally normal for this age. This is also a time when kids start to model what they see between their parents and how they express affection, and they continue to respond to one another with hugs, kisses and cuddling. They can also experience jealousy in this age when it comes to intimacy shared between parents or partners dating. When they see that intimacy with one of their parents that they feel connected to sharing it with somebody else, they can feel jealousy.
Jen: I always like those little videos. You know, we've talked about how we get sucked down the rabbit hole of watching videos at night on our phone. But those that I see that are, you know, you have the mom and the dad or the mom and the boyfriend or whomever it may be, and they go to kiss the other person and that little child is turning their head towards them or whatnot. And that's really what it is, is, you know, whoever they have that strong relationship with mom or dad or whomever it may be, they want that affection. So, I think they're cute.
Sara: My youngest falls in this age range, and whenever I hug my husband, she runs right up to us and wraps her arms around both of our legs and says “group hug!” And so, I don't know that she's necessarily experiencing jealousy, but she definitely wants to be a part of it. So that wraps up early childhood ages two to five.
Jen: So now we're to middle childhood five to nine. So, with this, I think these are the kind of the behaviors and things that kind of show up that also have other conversations that need to come along with it. So, you need to remember we're talking about normal sexual development. And if these normal sexual developments are something that you're like, this is not what we do in our household or we don't believe in this or whatever the case may be, there needs to be a conversation about that. You can't expect children just to understand, Oh, we don't do that in our home. They need to know from us what our expectations are, what our morals and values are as well. So just know for some of these, we need to have additional conversations with them. So, between five and nine self-stimulation in private and sometimes not in private, I mean, I've gotten into lots of kindergarten classes and the kids have their hands down their pants. And so just that self-stimulation is very normal. And if that's something that you don't want your child doing, you got to have a conversation about it. They're going to have that continual sexual play and exploration between kids of opposite sex. So, playing doctor, you show me yours, I'll show you mine that kind of stuff. That's very normal. I will put this in that when there is a three-year age gap, at least that's how it is here in Utah. That's when it becomes a problem. So, if you have a five-year-old and they're doing this with an eight or nine-year-old, then we have some questions because normally it's right in their same age group. So, we just need to be aware and then we also have to think developmentally. So, if you have a child that has a friend, that has Down Syndrome. And they may be 10 and your child is six or seven. That age range is different just because that child with Down's syndrome developmentally is probably more on their level. So just some things to remember with that one. They're going to even though we don't want to admit that this happens, that at the older and closer to nine, you're going to have peer discussion regarding sexual behavior. Kids are going to start having an interest in the opposite sex. Again, remember, this is five to nine. So, we're talking at the older age range. You're also going to see, you know, in the last when you have the little kids just loving being naked and running around and thinking they're silly and things like that. But now between five and nine, they're wanting, they're going to want more privacy and personal privacy. And then for boys, I mean, it's I think it's super important. This is another soapbox of mine of we need to know what is normal for both our boys and girls as moms and then dads need to know what's normal for their girls. Because we need to make sure that we're teaching our kids that they can come to either one of us if they have questions. But nocturnal emissions in males so wet dreams may begin to start about the age of nine.
Sara: Yeah. So, this was a conversation that Jen and I were just having earlier thinking about this age range five to nine. That's when the body starts to change and go through puberty. And as parents, sure, we can allow the public-school system to be what teaches our children. But those are also conversations that we should have in our home with our children as well so that they get the correct information. And I was sharing with Jen that my oldest, we've been having these conversations and I actually shared, I believe in our last podcast about the book that we've been reading together, and we read it with mom and dad and the child. And I don't have any sons and I'm not going to have any sons, but I was just thinking recently that I want to buy, the book that we have is for girls, but they have them for boys as well, and I want to buy that book and eventually, I don't think we need to do this now with my daughters. But as they get older, read the boy version of the book with them so that they know what the male body goes through. Because I feel like for myself, I don't have all of those answers. And I grew up with all sisters, one brother, but he was the oldest and we have an 11-year age gap, so I really don't feel like I grew up with boys or brothers. And so that's just something that I feel like sets us up for success to understand both the male and female anatomy and puberty, what that looks like for both of them. Because even though my daughters aren't going to go through those changes, they are going to get married someday. They are going to have little boys, possibly. And so, it's just good to have that well-rounded knowledge.
Jen: I think also it just allows them to be respectful to the other person. Before I was at The Family Place, I worked in the schools and they have maturation classes in fifth grade. And so, one day this little girl was sitting, fifth grader was sitting next to this other fifth grade boy. He just happened to have an erection at that time. And the other boy was like, “Oh my gosh!” And the girl was like, “Oh, that's OK, that's normal. That just is what happens with boys.” And I think that that is super good for girls to understand that so that they can be respectful and vice versa for boys to know what's going to happen with girls. So, they're not making fun of them when their period comes and giving them a hard time about that. Because as we all know, some girls have their periods really young and that can create some situations for bullying. If we're not teaching our kids to be respectful and teaching them what's happening between both genders.
Sara: Yeah, we'll just thinking about my own experience through childhood. A lot of what I knew about boys was what my friends were talking about. I didn't have any knowledge of my own, and so I can't say whether or not what I knew then was fact or just gossip and rumors and whatever, and I was pretty naive. I remember my sophomore year of high school, I was in a sexuality class or we had a sexuality discussion and the room was split, boys on one side, girls on the other side, and it was a free for all. Ask your questions to the opposite sex about their bodies. And I remember feeling horrified in this class because I so kept to myself. And there are things said on both sides that I was like some of it I didn't understand and some of it I was horrified that we're having this conversation. And so, I really didn't learn a lot in that because there was so much said that I was like, I don't even know what that means. And so just thinking as a parent to be the one to teach my children about both sides so that they know so that in those conversations, they're not. It's not all just going over their head, they're able to grasp it and learn from that.
Jen: It's just, I don't know. I just find it so interesting that we're so secretive almost to the point of our bodies and what our bodies do when really, again, there's nothing wrong with our bodies and it's just better to know what's happening with them instead of, as I was telling Sara earlier that ostrich with their head in the sand going, I'm not going to talk about this because my five to nine year old is not doing these things and not interested. And oh yeah, they're learning these things. And so, we need to make sure that we're the ones teaching them.
Sara: One thing I do want to say with the age ranges we've talked about so far, so infancy through age nine is that self-pleasure, we know is normal within each of those stages to different, varying degrees, but it's also a sign for sexual abuse. If a child is doing that, but it's the excessive amounts of what they're doing, so just be aware of that. That is normal. But if you're seeing that happening multiple times throughout the day, that maybe isn't as normal and there could be a concern there.
Jen: And when we're talking about a concern, most of the time, it's just not one thing. There's normally a multitude of things that are happening that are like, that's not quite right. And as we teach our kids in our abuse prevention, if you feel that “Uh-oh” feeling that feeling in your stomach that you just don't, you're like, there's something that's not quite right here, then seek some help. If you have that “Uh-oh” feeling as a parent of this doesn't seem quite right. Ask your pediatrician. Call someone. Look it up on Google, whatever it may be for you. Listen to that so that you're getting that taken care of, so you're not having to worry about it.
Sara: So finally, we're going to talk about late childhood. So, this is ages nine to 12 years old, and in this age range, obviously is when children go through puberty. So, girls get their first period on average, around 11 and a half years old, but that can vary depending on every family. So hopefully that's something that you are prepared to discuss with your children and know how to handle as that comes along. So, with the other age ranges, we've talked about how children might explore each other's bodies. That happens in this age range as well. More towards the later end of this stage. So, I would say 12 and beyond that, as that curiosity with exploration of other bodies is happening this stage, it's more sexually driven and less just out of curiosity that bodies are different. And again, when it comes to sexual activity between boys and girls, it tends to be within their general age range. And with that, it could be between same sex or opposite sex that those explorations are happening.
Jen: All right. So, we need to remember that this is just normal sexual development, knowing that this is going to happen. So, make sure that you're having conversations along the way as well so that your kids are learning your morals and values and not the morals and values of others that are on social media or on, you know, in movies or on television or whatever the case may be that it's what you want your kids to learn. OK, so we talked about what is normal. Now, let's just talk about what children should know in general guideline ways. So what kids should know by the age of five? Of course, we've already I think we've beaten this one into the ground. They should know their proper names of their body parts, proper or correct words for elimination. So just going to the bathroom, giving them proper terminology for that. Letting children know that babies grow in a special place. And that's the uterus. Sometimes we say it's in mommy's tummy or things like that, and kids can get confused of, well, if that's in mommy's tummy, where does the food go? And you know, it's good for kids to know that there's a separate place that it's not like it's all gone. All of our stuff is going into one place.
Sara: Yeah, mom didn't eat the baby.
Jen: Yes. So then letting them know about the differences between boys and girls, and then if the children this is important, wants to know and asks about it giving them more information where babies come from. Now that doesn't mean you're giving your five-year-old the ins and outs of how babies are made. You're just saying babies come from moms and dads.
Sara: And if they ask more questions than you give them more answers.
Jen: Yes, yes. You keep answering their questions until they stop asking questions. So, you don't want to give them more information than they are asking. You want to teach them about sexual abuse that that's forced or trick. Touch a private body parts and letting them know what force means because a lot of kids will say Star Wars or whatever, because that's what they're familiar with, but letting them really understand what it means to be forced. So, making them do something that they don't want to do or don't understand, and then being tricked into doing something and then teaching them about secrets we always have around here at The Family Place that we don't have secrets. We have surprises because when we ask kids, “is it our right to break a promise or tell a secret?” they're always “No”, no matter what it is like, that is a hard-set rule. Oh, you don't do that, and we need to let kids know if there is something happening like that, then it is OK to break that promise or tell that secret.
Sara: And I just think it's good to have that separation to understand good and bad secrets, surprises versus bad secrets so that kids understand that a surprise is something everybody gets to find out. And when they do, they all feel happy and good. And a secret is something that whoever's asking you to keep that they want you to keep it forever and never tell anybody. And those secrets don't make us feel good. They make us feel bad and scared and confused. And so that's just a really important thing to help children understand. Teaching them the difference between secrets and surprises. OK, so then we have things a child should know by the ages of five to nine. So, this is when we mentioned before you start talking about puberty and helping them understand what the body goes through for both males and females. This is talking about breasts and body hair, voice changes and starting your period. Those are all things that you can teach in this age range. This is also a time for them to know that bodies develop at different rates and body differences are normal. I think this is when kids really start to compare themselves to their peers. And so, this conversation is important to have to know that that's OK, that you don't look exactly like your best friend whose body is changing faster than yours, or that you're changing faster than them. And maybe they feel embarrassed about that. So, having those conversations that it's natural and normal. When it comes to menstruation, your child needs to have some basic understandings before that starts for their bodies, so they need to know what it is when it occurs, how to take care of it, how to be prepared to take care of it. Those are all important things for them to know so that when it does happen, they're not caught off guard and think that they're dying because their body is bleeding. Then it's also important to talk to our boys about wet dreams, and they need to understand this before it starts happening. So, what that means, what they are, and that it's normal for that to happen. This is a time when you can start having those conversations about self-stimulation and what you feel like is appropriate in your home for your children to be doing or not doing. And ages five to nine is when you can start talking in more detail about specific explanations when it comes to intercourse, pregnancy and childbirth. And again, you continue that conversation about sexual abuse in a more deeper manner because they have more brainpower to digest that.
Jen: I think with the self-stimulation as well is letting them know an appropriate place to do that. If that is something that you're OK with within your home, it's just letting them know where is it appropriate so that they aren't getting in trouble if they're doing it somewhere else and someone sees them or whatnot, but just letting them know where appropriate places are. The last one and these are big ones what kids should know between the ages of 13 to 19. So, we're going to be talking about lots of things. And what I like about this is just looking through all of this. This is a life from a young age to. Teenagers, I mean, this is not a one-time conversation with kids, this is an ongoing conversation you should be having with them throughout the time they're in your home.
Sara: You're continuing that conversation and building on it as they grow.
Jen: Mm hmm. So, this is 13 to 19. So, the acceptance of sexuality is normal and that our body differences are normal. Again, kids start young comparing them. But I think with social media and everything else in 13 to 19-year old’s having access to social media, this is going to be even more relevant in their lives of comparing their bodies. I think a good conversation to have with him, as well is knowing what they're seeing on social media, doesn't necessarily mean that's what they look like. There's lots of filters, there's lots of other programs that can change the way they look. And I think especially for girls, they need to know and understand that. Talking to them about relationships, what are healthy relationships? What are unhealthy relationships? Is it OK for you to, you know, hit a boy? Or is it OK for a boy to hit a girl? No, it's not. And so, having those conversations and what to do if they find themselves in a relationship that isn't healthy for them. We're going to be giving them pretty much all the information about pregnancy and birth and letting them know how that all happens. We're also going to want to talk to our children about birth control, and there may be some people that are like, “Nope, my child's not going to do that until they get married. Abstinence is the only way”, and I am a firm believer, even if you believe abstinence is the only way. I'm a firm believer in teaching your child about birth control, no matter what in the situation, they're going to have to make a decision. And I would always want my child to make an informed decision and make the best choice for them. We're going to talk to him about abortion because again, we want to have that birth control in there so that they're not having to have these life decisions, this young. But if they do have to make this life decision this young, or they encounter this. But they know what that is. They're fully informed about it. And then we're going to talk to our kids about venereal diseases. So sexually transmitted diseases, we want them to be informed again so that they know if they are in this situation, that they do need to use a form of birth control so that they aren't contracting these sexually transmitted diseases, but also understanding that if they're choosing to be sexually active, they have a right to ask their partners if they have any sexually transmitted diseases so that they can make that choice on their own. Like “No, this is not for me. I'm not going down this road.” And with that one, I'm a firm believer in pictures. You know, show your kids some of these pictures of these sexually transmitted diseases, and maybe they'll think twice when it comes to birth control and making sure they're safe. I think they need to also know that some sexually transmitted diseases have lifelong effects. That is not a one-time thing, they can get medicine that clears up. Some of these diseases will last a lifetime. Talking to them about homosexuality. And I think in today's world, we might have to have that conversation younger just because it is so relevant in our lives and making sure that they understand what it is, making sure that they know how to be respectful to one another, no matter what your beliefs may be. We still want to be respectful and kind to everyone. Next, we want to talk to our kids about rape and date rape and how that happens, what can occur, teaching our kids never to leave drinks by themselves so that if they are in that situation or they are in a group situation, that they are at least taking that preventative step, I think also talking to them about the fact that rape is not OK. Teaching our girls and our boys because rape can happen with boys as well, that we need to get some help and that is more help than a friend can give us. That's probably more help than we as a parent. We're going to need to get medical things like that, that they have a right to tell law enforcement and should tell law enforcement.
Sara: And teach them that it's never their fault if somebody has forced them into anything. It doesn't matter what they were wearing or doing or how they were acting or being under any kind of influence. If they feel like what happened to them wasn't OK, it wasn't their fault that somebody forced that on them. And we just need to be firm in teaching them that it's not their fault and they don't have to feel shame and it's OK to get help.
Jen: Yeah, I think another important thing to talk about with boys and girls is that, first off, no means no. And then also, no matter how many times you say no, or if you say yes, but in the middle you're like, no, I don't want to go any further. No means no. And boys and girls need to know that. And then again, we're going to give them all of the information about sexual abuse. And I think we covered that with the rape and date rape of it's not their fault and no means no. And I really like what, because even nowadays I still hear it “well, that girls shouldn't dress like that” or whatever-
Sara: “She's asking for it.”
Jen: “She's asking for it.” And that is not OK. And again, talk about with this with both your boys and your girls
Sara: I just want to for those of you parents who are listening, who have teenagers, I want to refer you back to an episode that we did at the beginning of the year. It was in February. It's, I believe, episode 20 with Kaleena Anderson, and it talks about how to not fall for the wrong person and the behaviors that of how these people might be treating you and to recognize those signs so that you don't fall into these traps of relationship abuse and unhealthy relationships. So that's a really good episode to gain some information to know how to teach your teenage children. But also, I think it's such a good episode for your teenage children to listen to.
Jen: Yeah, I mean, having kids know, I mean, they may want to date this guy so badly, and so they're so willing to do anything and everything that they're asking. And again, I say, guy, because I'm a girl, but this can go both ways. But you know, they want to date them so badly so that they are willing to do anything for them and be controlled by them and manipulate and things like that. So, I do think that that's a really good episode to go back to and listen and have your teenagers listen to it so that they can get into healthier relationships and know what it is. And I think it's also important for us as parents to show with our partners or spouses what a healthy relationship is, because that's what they see the most and that's what they're going to apply to their relationships is what they're seeing with their parents. So, I know we have thrown a lot of information at you and you might be a little bit overwhelmed. But for me, this is a really important topic just because to keep our kids safe and that we're just informed, it's one of my things that gets under my skin when we just feel like we shouldn't talk about these things. And I don't want anyone to feel bad if they haven't been talking about these things, that's OK. That may be how we grew up of not talking about this stuff. And that's all right. But I encourage you to take the little steps to open the doors to have these open communications. I'll never forget we had this program here and we have it again called parents as teachers, and we had this young girl. She was 15 that came in and she was pregnant. This program dealt with moms who were pregnant all the way up to kids that were five. And she was 15 and pregnant, and she had never told her parents. And when we had kind of talked to her about why she hadn't talked to her parents, she said, “Because I was afraid, we never talked about stuff like this.” So, she had gone through the majority of her pregnancy with no prenatal care. And I know some of us are like, I don't want my child to have a baby when they're teen and things like that. But the way we can help them the most is by communicating with them. So, I hope that this this podcast was informative for you. If you have questions for us. I'm going to have Sarah explain how you can leave us a voice message because we would love to answer your questions, and I know that through our podcasts, a bajillion questions might come up and you're like, I want to ask that question, and I just can't because I'm listening to it on the radio or on the podcast or whatever. And this is one way you can ask that question. We can do the research and find it for you. We probably already have it here where we're at for our work. And so, I'll let Sarah explain how you can leave one of those voice messages.
Sara: Yeah. So, it's super easy because it's linked in the show notes. All you have to do is click on it. It says record questions here and has a link. You click on the link and it will take you to the website where we post our podcast. And from there, you just scroll down a little way and it says message. You click message and that opens up the window to be able to record it. So super easy, and we would love to answer your questions.
Jen: Yeah, I know there's lots of questions that popped into my head while we're doing podcasts or comments that I wanted to say or whatever. So, I can't be the only one that's thinking like this. So please send us your voice messages.
Sara: And maybe in the moment you're thinking, “Oh, I want to ask about that.” But then once the whole episode ends, you're like, “I don't want to take the time to send an email.” So, this is just a really easy way to be able to send a question in the moment. Pause the episode, click on that in the show notes and record a question. It sends it directly to Jenn and myself through that anchor website.
Jen: We would love to hear from you. We want to thank you for joining us today. And if you do want to get in contact with us through email, you can do that at Parents@TheFamilyPlaceUtah.org Or you can reach both Sarah and I on Facebook. Sarah Hendricks Dash the Family Place or Jen Daly Dash the Family Place. We hope this was informative and good information for you, and we hope that you have a wonderful week and we will catch you next week.
Sara: Thanks again for listening. The Family Place is a non-profit organization in Logan, Utah, with a mission to strengthen families and protect children. We call ourselves starfish throwers. If you're unsure what that means, refer back to our introduction episode where we explain it. The good news is you can be a starfish thrower too by subscribing to The Parent’s Place podcast and liking our social media pages. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with others and help us get our message out to more people. Also, be sure to check the show notes for links to information referenced in this episode. That's all for now, but we'll catch you again next time on The Parent’s Place.
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