It could be 95 degrees outside and you still may see some teens wearing sweatshirts. Similarly, it could be 10 degrees and their may be some teens wearing shorts. So you kids do this? Did you do this when you were a teen? Jen and Hilary have an interesting discussion as to why teens seem to wear nonsensical clothing.
Listen Here:
Can't Listen? Read the Transcription Here:
Jen: Welcome to the Parents Place podcast with Hillary and Jen.
Hilary: Welcome back to our podcast, so if you're an active listener to our podcast, you've said you've met MarLyn, you've heard MarLyns voice and you say that you've met us on our podcast. That seems weird anyway, but you've heard our cute little MarLyn who helps us to organize and schedule our podcasts. And so oftentimes when she encounters a sign, an article, something of interest, she sends it over to us, she says, Think about this in your podcast. So, she sent us an article that both Jen and I have read and laughed at because it's just such a funny topic. But the funny thing is, is that I read it and Jen read it. We read it individually, independently, and we both came here together and are like, Yes, that's my kid. My child, my child, my child. And that's the great thing about it is that for some reason, this is like a thing, I don't get it. So, what's the title of the article again?
Jen: Is there science behind why teens wear hoodies and summer heat?
Hilary: Oh my gosh. OK, so my son, whom I have talked about on this podcast, he so it's his very first day of middle school, is back to school day for us here in Cache County. So, he has entered that scary, overwhelming, daunting world of middle school. So, he is 12, and I noticed this last year, probably when it started for him. So, when he was 11ish, 12ish So he started to wear sweatshirts every day and it did not matter if it was December or February or July. That was just he would get dressed and he'd usually have a t shirt on as well. But then he threw a sweatshirt on top, and I'm trying to be nice and I'm trying to be sweet and I'm not trying to be critical. So, I just smile at him and say, Have a great day . But in my head, I am like, I am sweating inside for him because I don't get it. I don't get your step daughter or does it too right?
Jen: Yeah, and I hate sweating, and I don't understand why she does it. I mean, her dad asks her constantly, Are you cold? And she say no. I mean, just when was it last ? Two weeks ago?
Hilary: Ninety-five degrees outside.
Jen: Yeah, we were going somewhere. Yeah, somewhere where it was , you were supposed to dress nice like a skirt and a blouse or something, and she had a skirt and a blouse and then a sweatshirt. Yeah. I'm like, why are you wearing a sweatshirt? This is we're supposed to dress a little bit nicer to this thing. I don't know it’s comfortable. Well okay.
Hilary: I swear there have been times that I get like, I have a sister who is always cold and such. She always wears a jacket. You know, we had a former colleague that was always freezing. She always brought a blanket to staff meeting. So, I get it like, if you're always cold, throw in an extra layer. There have been times where I can visually see that my son is sweaty and he is hot, and I look at him with this look and I'm like. Take it off. Take the sweat shirt off , and there's been times where he has made the comment. It's really hot today and…
Jen: Take the sweat shirt off.
Hilary: I just want to hit my head up against the wall, like, what are you doing here? Why are you allowing yourself to go through this torture?
Jen: Yeah, I don't understand it. I have a niece that does the same thing. It's not necessarily a sweatshirt. It's a blanket. Oh, she's got to have a blanket. I mean, she's 21, and she has to carry a blanket wherever she goes. Whenever she's in the house blanket, she's outside the blanket. I mean, right now she's in Africa, and I wonder if she has a blanket.
Hilary: So, it's good for me to know that he's not the only one that's bought in the sweatshirt in August.
Jen: I think we can also throw in sporting the shorts in December.
Hilary: Oh my gosh yeah.
Jen: I don’t get that one either.
Hilary: It's so funny because so you guys know you listeners out there, you know that we teach a body safety program to our local schools and with the older students, we talked to them about different types of abuse. This is really off topic. It's coming back. Don't worry, we talk to them about different types of abuse. And one thing we talk about is neglect and not having basic needs. And you know, one form of neglect could look like a student that doesn't have clothes that are appropriate for the season. And you know, a child that's coming to school in the winter without a jacket. And I always pause my discussion at that moment and I like, Okay, guys, now I need you to understand something. And I said, I'm going to schools in the winter time and I'm like, you know, I'm not to pinpoint certain genders here. But it tends to be you males in the room. And I'm like, the thing that always blows my mind is when I walk into a classroom in December and you boys are still at this point wearing and usually you have somebody in the classroom before you can even say they'll be like, Shorts! I'm like, Yes, what is your problem, guys? What are you doing? And so anyway, we always joke about how I'm sure that you have a pair of pants in your home choosing not to wear it, and you know, that's your choice. This is a different this is neglect is a different situation. But anyway, it's just so funny to me to see these kids in their shorts and their sweatshirts white, which is like counterproductive. I feel like you're covering the top half and leaving the bottom half. Yeah, I guess you need some air ventilation.
Jen: Maybe . I don't know. But I think it goes to prove that, you know , parents always wonder if the kids, their kids have the right clothes for the weather. I mean, in the winter times, we're worried if our kids have their coats, if they're wearing their coats, and if this topic doesn't do anything else but prove. That they're going to be OK without their coat. That's right. And that may not be a fight you want to fight that day. They're going to be OK.
Hilary: Yes, yes. It's this. I've always been one of those moms, that has picked up the outfits, laid it out, right, so all of my kids have to do is just walk up the stairs and it's there for them. There's no questions. And I'm starting to give obviously my older kids some more freedom and more opportunities, and it's one of those things where sometimes they'll walk up and I'm like ,oh…You look great.
Jen: Yeah, mine, bell, bottom leggings with butterflies, with a black, sheer long sleeved shirt with a velvet purple bra on the outside. Oh, yeah, I looked at that outfit and I'm like . Where did that concoction come from? But to each their own.
Hilary: Yeah, we haven't entered that realm yet. We've still it's still my levels and my favorite is when they're still trying to understand, like how to match an outfit because I have a daughter that when you're trying to put an outfit together, like if you're trying to match, that means that you're picking the same colors right? So, she'll come upstairs with a purple shirt and purple shorts and purple shoes and purple socks because to her in her head, it's like, I match you get all the purple things. And she doesn't understand that like different shades of purple together don’t… like matching means you pick something neutral and then you add a pop of color to it. It doesn't mean that you pick all the same color. It's just slightly different enough that it hurts my eyeballs. So, yeah, it's fine.
Jen: Well, my stepdaughter hasn't grown out of that. I still question every outfit I see her put on. I'm like, I, I'm just not that person. Yeah, and she's confident and she can walk around and she is great. But I am a person that I have to match. I can't miss match shapes or plaid with polka dots, I can't do that.
Hilary: Patterns and all the things.
Jen: Sweatshirts with shorts.
Hilary: Which I guess like brings up a good point, which is she's confident. And you know what, I think some kids will come out of their bedroom and they feel like they look like a million bucks. And I guess if they look feel that way, it's like, good for you. You know, go seize the day, my child, and if I'm wearing a sweatshirt in the summertime, makes them feel confident. Who am I to say, take it off. And you know, you feel good, you feel confident and that that suits you, by all means, go ahead. I'm going to be sweating up a storm, but you feel great. So, in this article, you know it was, go ahead and read it when you got a spare minute or it'll be in our notes. But it's it was funny because Jen and I were joking about how so the guy that wrote this article, he's a meteorologist. And so, this is kind of why he's discussing this, this topic of like weather patterns versus fashion versus common sense. And I think a lot of his article is it's fun and he's joking. And maybe there's a little bit of sarcasm thrown in there, but he attempts to offer some…
Jen: Reasons why,
Hilary: Right, like reasons as to why our kids are doing this.
Jen: Well, I agree, and I think it's just funny that he had to write an article for Forbes about his 15-year-old son, who wears the sweatshirt in Georgia Heat.
Hilary: So, Jen and I laughed at his first two reasons trying to decide if they are legitimate reasons versus sarcastic reasons versus whatnot. But he says, what are the two first one's
Jen: Protection from cancer causing ultraviolet radiation. Not quite sure kids.
Hilary: Tell me what 12-year old’s cares about protecting from the UV rays.
Jen: We, as parents, are probably very grateful.
Hilary: Maybe that's right. Maybe we're talking about a child whose parent has lectured them for the past 12 years of their life, about wearing sunscreen and properly covering their arms and their legs and wearing protective suits.
Jen: I would have never thought about that , but and a sweatshirt.
Hilary: But it does mean there is a teen that is super vigilant.
Jen: Yes. Good for you. It's a good thing I have both. My father and my brother have tons of things have to be cut off their face because it's pre-cancerous from not wearing sunscreen.
Hilary: So that's the first reason is good for them. And then the second one
Jen: Armor against pesky mosquitoes.
Hilary: I get it. There's nothing worse than getting an awful mosquito bite again. Do I think that an 11-year-old is thinking that process through? Probably not. But you know, I mean , there may be more aware children than my own child.
Jen: So, this is off topic. It's one of my favorite pictures I've ever seen of any of my nieces. It's when they first moved up here, mosquitoes, they were putting in their grass and she was tired of all the mosquitoes. So, she went and got a ski hat that was part mask, so it was down over her nose. And then she had her clothes on, and then she gotten two pairs of her dad's socks, one for each arm and then one for each leg. So maybe some little kids, little suckers think about asking mosquitoes. It's one of my favorite memories.
Hilary: Those little suckers aren’t going to get me at all.
Jen: Those pesky mosquitoes. It’s one of my favorite memories.
Hilary: It's true. OK, so his last two points, I think, are ones that we can maybe explore a little bit more that there might be some rhythm or reason to them.
Jen: More pockets and body image concerns.
Hilary: All right. You know, we've joked in this podcast before about. Glorious years of middle school and even high school, I mean, I'll be on high school may not be glorious either. But I think the reality is when you're a kid at or near that school age child, especially elementary school, most kids, you're right, could care less what they wear. They could care if it matches. They could care less if it fits. They could care less if it was a Halloween costume versus their Sunday best, right. And they're going to sport whatever they want. And they don't mind it. And I say, unfortunately, because I feel like it's unfortunate for some reason, once you start hitting those middle school years, those pre-teen years, you become more self-aware of who you are and how you look at how other people look, and that includes how other people dress. And so, I think that. The reason that my child wears a sweatshirt is probably the same reason your child is that is that every other teen out there is wearing a sweatshirt the same time.
Jen: They're there not wanting to be, out of the group, they want to be part of the group.
Hilary: Exactly. You wear what everybody else is wearing. And even if it's ridiculous, right? I mean, we probably both for ridiculous things in high school and we look at that now and we think, holy bananas.
Jen: Yeah, I went to high school in the 80’s, so yeah, I looked at and said, holy bananas, that was crazy.
Hilary: You did it thinking you look fantastic. Yeah, because everybody else had it on.
Jen: I pegged my pants, had two pairs of socks on, two different colors stacked down, you know.
Hilary: You know, so I'm sure that my son will have an experience when he is 40 or he looks back at this picture.
Jen: Why am I wearing a sweatshirt?
Hilary: Exactly things why? Why? Why did I do that? And I will say to him, I don't know. I have that same question. You did it because you thought you looked cool.
Jen: I have the same question. I left you alone and I let you look just like everybody else.
Hilary: Yep, yep. But I do think there is a bigger underlying issue and that does go into that fourth thing that he needs, and that is just that body image. And I think sometimes, particularly teenage girls, they start to become more self-conscious in how they look. I mean, their bodies are developing at different speeds and at different rates, and some are a little bit less developed than others. And wearing a big sweater is an easy way to hide that. Whether you are under overdeveloped is an easy way to hide your body.
Jen: I think also you can put in the trauma if those kids have had some type of sexual trauma. I mean, that is. Something that some of them do as well is hide their bodies.
Hilary: Well, so it's interesting. We had a family reunion just about a month ago and I have a cute little niece who is 13, close to 14 , and she we were at a lake and so everybody's getting in the lake to go swimming. And she didn't want to get in, and she's the oldest of my nieces and nephews. And so anyway, she had a lot of younger cousins that were giving her a hard time. Why are you getting in the water? Come in and swim with us, you know, and even my son, my son, who is still a little bit oblivious to how the world works, was giving her a hard time getting the ball. It's really not that big of a deal. Get in the water. And I eventually had to pull my kids aside separately and say to them, you know what, you guys? She may not want to get in the water, and she's not telling you why, and that's OK , because she doesn't have to tell you why, I said, but you need to understand that sometimes girls, especially girls her age, choose not to get in the water for lots of different reasons. And one of them may be because she's uncomfortable with how she looks right now. At this point with us, when we see it, she may not want to be wearing a swimming suit around other people, including her family. And I said to my kids, you need to respect that. You respect her feelings, you need to respect your opinion. You stop giving her a hard time over it, just let her be. She wants to stay and play on the sand. That's fine. Let her stay and play on the sand. I remember like having that conversation with my with my nine-year-old who's nine. And so, at this point, she's still very confident in her body. And so, it was it was an interesting conversation to have with her because she was like, Well, why does she care? Yeah, why does you care about wearing a swimsuit? And I'm like, you know what, sweetie? You don't care. And guess what? As an adult now, I don't really care, either. I could care less what people think about me at this point when I'm in a swimsuit. But girls that age do. And you know what? To be honest with you, when you hit that age, you probably will, too. It's just the hard age because everybody's bodies are different, and it's really easy for us to compare our body to other people's bodies.
Jen: Or make fun of her body.
Hilary: Yeah. So, you know, you wear that sweatshirt, it’s easy to hide things. Yeah.
Jen: I have not gotten to that spot where I'm OK , just one. I'm swimsuit in front of everybody.
Hilary: I’m not saying I have the best body in the world by any means, but I am to the point where I'm like, I can wear the swimming suit and get in the water, or I can sit on the side and sweat to death. I'm going to get in the water in my swim suit.
Jen: I haven't gone there yet. I still have to wear. I have the longer. Like knee swimsuit bottoms. And then I have the top. And then I always have to have a very large T-shirt on top. And I don't know why. Because once you get wet, you see what it looks like anyways, because that shirt's stuck to me. But there is there is in my brain rationale behind it.
Hilary: But anyway, sweatshirts , you know , and honestly, I think for some kids, sweatshirts can provide a lot of comfort, not necessarily just with body image. But, you know, he threw out in that article the comparison of a lot of people with anxiety having a weighted blanket and, you know, having that fabric on your skin and feeling that, you know. And so, I think for some kids, they maybe it is. It's that sensory.
Jen: Yeah, it's just there's a weight to it.
Hilary: Yep. He actually and I didn't even know they had this out there, but he mentioned in the article how they had started to create weighted sweatshirts, which for me, sounds like the worst thing on the planet. Yeah, because I hate having like thick material. I'm using fabric. I'm all for like light and airy. But it is. It's the same concept as the weighted blanket. So, I can see some people, especially middle schoolers, who are going through those anxious moments and anxious times to be able to feel that I can see that being a big benefit. Yeah. You know, and he mentioned , you know, with pockets, you know, there are some kids that because of nerves, they might fiddle their, you know , their pencil or twist, you know, a set of keys or, you know, even put their hands together to provide some pressure and get a sweatshirt with your hands.
Jen: Yeah and no one sees it.
Hilary: And that could be a really good thing. I can see on a therapeutic basis kids that are going through counseling and having these counselors provide them with ideas on how to de-stress and giving them some modulation tools and saying, you know what? Put your hands in your pockets and press your hands together and provide those pressure points. Easy way to do it.
Jen: I say as long as these middle schoolers, because that's about the age where they start doing that, our number one wearing deodorant because I'm sure they are sweating. Oh yeah. So, they need to learn how to use that deodorant stick. My stepdaughter are still 16 and still forgets to put it on, and I'm like, Oh, you got to go put some of that on, forgive this anymore and that it's wandered on a regular basis.
Hilary: Yes, because I do also think that you'll see a lot of kids that will wear that thing every day.
Jen: You know it laundered . And so that's my two things. Make sure you have your deodorant on and you launder that sweatshirt. I don't care where what you want to wear.
Hilary: We'll give you some comfort in knowing that your child is not the only one. It is the phenomenon of Teens
Jen: All shaking head parents, shaking their heads. You look at him and you can now say, I know why you're shaking your head and you're looking at your kid in a sweatshirt or shorts in the wintertime. It's fine. Yeah. It all works out well, I hope that you enjoyed this silly little, and I guess it's not necessarily silly because it's probably a big deal, some of these big kids out there, but hopefully you learned something. You had a couple of giggles and you enjoyed this podcast today. Remember to be kind to yourself and we will see you next week.
Thank you for listening to the Parents' Place podcast, if you would like to reach us, you can at parents@thefamilyplaceutah.org or you can reach Jen on Facebook . Jen Daly – The Family Place. Please check out our show notes for any additional information. Our website is TheFamilyPlaceUtah.org. If you're interested in any of our upcoming virtual classes, we'd love to see you there.
Resources:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/marshallshepherd/2022/08/05/is-there-science-behind-why-teens-wear-hoodies-in-summer-heat/?sh=7713f59c340a
Contact: Record questions here: https://anchor.fm/theparentsplace Email us: parents@thefamilyplaceutah.org Text "TFP" to 33222 for weekly parenting tips Find us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/jendalyTFP The Parent's Place:https://www.facebook.com/groups/196037267839869 Music by Joystock
- https://www.joystock.org
Comments