With the start of a New Year, many people make take of the previous and make goals and resolutions to help them reach new heights in the coming year. Some of us love January and the new goals that we often make when a new year approaches. Many of us also have suffered at our own hands by not being able to accomplish these goals, and often shame spiral because of it. Jen and Hilary are here today to introduce a new idea for this coming year! A yearly theme and how choosing a theme can help changed and adapt with us as the year goes on to really help us succeed throughout the year.
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Jen: Welcome to the Parents Place podcast with Hilary and Jen.
Hilary: Welcome to the Parents Place podcast. So, we are excited to share some information with you today. In our show notes, we'll go ahead and share this this video that we're going to discuss, but it's all about setting up a New Year theme, whether that theme be for yourself, individually, as a family unit. But I love this idea because I know that we've joked recently, Jen and I about how, you know, you get to January and you get to New Year's resolution time and I know that there are some people that just love that time of the year, right? Give me all the goals, and then there's some of us that are like. I know for my sister, she's like. She always says I don't. I don't ever make goals because they never left, right. And I think there's a lot of people that feel that same way, what's the point, right? What's the point in making those goals because they're short lived. And within a few weeks, or maybe even days, I'm back to my old self. And so I like this idea because it's, I think, revamping the way that we think about goal setting and we think about January in general, so, yell us a little bit about what? What's in this video, Jen?
Jen: But first it starts off with, you know, smart goals are good, but there's a time and a place for those and for the new year that's not always the greatest thing. Like I know what a smart goal is, but I'm not going to sit down and write one for myself. Unless I have to do it and work is more of an appropriate place to do that. But it talks about that theme so. Taking one word that makes sense to you and applying it to the whole year. So, an example that they gave was I want to read more. OK. So that doesn't mean you have to read a book every day or every week. You just want to read more so. You start a book and it may be taking you a little bit longer than what you thought, but that's OK. But also, while life gets really busy and I can't read anymore, so maybe we switch to listening to books. As we're in the car or doing chores or whatever. Cause we're still getting the book. We're still getting that information, whatever type we want. But it's just in a different form and I really like that because then it's not like ohh, I failed I didn't read a book, but. I'm still listening to a book and that's what I've wanted to.
Hilary: No, and I think that that's good because I think so often, like I said, smart goals have a time and a place and are appropriate in a lot of different settings. But I think when we set a goal and for whatever reason, let's say the goal is to exercise three times in the week, right? And let's say with the, we don't do it in that week. I think there's many people that are like. Well, Dang it didn't do that this week, right? Bag that goal and so well, it's nice to have a number and a specific measurable. Well, you know component, I think sometimes if we don't hit that. Then it's like ohh. Toss that bad boy out the window. So this keeps it a little bit more open so that we have a little bit more grace if we don't quite get to it the way that we thought we were going to get to it.
Jen: Yeah, he talks about the exercise thing and how maybe we should reframe it to. I want to be healthy for the year. So if that means going to the gym or taking walks or I'm too busy to do either one of those things this week, but. I'm going to take the stairs at work. Or I'm going to park a little bit further away from the grocery store doors. But then he also talks about how sometimes help things come up and we can't do those things. So, let's say we broke an arm or a leg, or we had to have surgery on our knee and we can't really do those things, but we still need to find a way to recoup from whatever that was, and that is still being focusing on our health. And I really liked that as well.
Hilary: I think that that this is a powerful idea, because I mean, we've discussed this in many of our podcasts, but it's taking us back to our Why. Like, why are we doing what we're doing? Because like you said, I think so many people, so many times people said a resolution of I'm going to exercise. You know, or I'm going to go to the gym three times or I'm going to read a book, a book a month or this or this or that. And so, I think it's taking that next step or maybe even taking a step back to say, why is exercising so important to me, like, why do I want that to be a focus in my life right now? Because you're right, I think that then if we can recognize why this needs to be a driving force in our life, we can say, well, I really want to get healthier for my kids. And so, these are some of the things that I can do in my life in order to do that. So like you said, it's not just the gym, but maybe we're going to, you know, maybe when I cook this particular meal, I'm going to add some vegetables to it so that I can help my kids pass, you know, so I can pass on those healthy habits to my kids or, you know, let's go for our family walk today instead of watching this movie, we should get outside. It's a nice sunny day, but I like how it just kind of takes you back to this idea of why is this such an important value for me to instill right now. I think that's really cool.
Jen: And you're a lot less likely to fail. Because you can switch it up throughout the year. Like he talked about being more novel, going to more novelty places or doing novelty things. And how that's changed throughout for him throughout the year. What did that look like in the beginning to what it looked like at the end was very different, but it was still him doing and trying new things.
Hilary: Yeah, wow this is such a fun, intriguing idea. I do. I love it because I think that. I mean we all when we're changing a habit a, it's hard and if we get to the point where it's not fun anymore, right, we tend to let it go. And so, I think that's powerful. I just keep going back to the exercising one right. I'm going to the gym and those first few weeks, it's fun because it's new. But after a while, right? As we're developing the habit, sometimes the gym starts to feel a little bit mundane and so instead of just saying bag the gym, we say to ourselves, OK? What can we do to keep this fun right to stay engaged. And so instead of going to the gym like I have been doing for the past two months, maybe I start walking with a friend. And so, I think that that's cool because I think so often I think that's the problem for me is that I like to spice things up every once in a while, like I hate just doing the same thing day in and day out. And so being able to make an adjustment, that's cool. I like that a lot.
Jen: He even challenges at the end, you know. Yes, we're talking about the year, and let's practice it that way. But then maybe we can take it down till we make a new theme every quarter. So it's different throughout the year, but we're always working towards something that we want and it could be any word that you want. Like I think about you, Hilary. And it could be color. And because there was one point to where you were trying to implement more color into your wardrobe.
Hilary: Yes! Like I was like you remember that I remember that was one of my most favorite goals that I ever made. Yeah, because I think of myself, I'm like I need to add more color,
Jen: because I'm a brown, black and Gray.
Hilary: Yes but you're right, I think I said so I set the goal of yeah, I'm a neutral person. I think most of us are. Unless we're really bold with our fashion sense. But I remember looking in my closet and thinking Blues, Grays, blacks, Browns, and I got. And I said to myself, Hilary. You got to add some more color to your wardrobe. So, I made the goal for the year that like next time you buy yourself some article of clothing, pick a color outside of that neutral zone. Something that you wouldn't normally pick and that was probably one of my most fun goals I ever set for myself. But I like the idea of instead of just sticking to cause I don't go clothes shopping very often I'll be honest with you. So instead of just sticking to the clothes at color right or variety to your life. Which could include let's try new restaurants that we don't normally try. Or let's pick a genre on Netflix like that we don't usually watch, you know. We tend to stick to mysteries and comedies. Let's watch a documentary tonight. So, I like that idea that it can go beyond like in all sorts of different realms of our life. That's fun.
Jen: I had someone challenge me here at work to buy something that's a little more flashy for clothes because I'd be very conservative and so I remember, she said OK on Monday. We're going to come. And have something a little bit more flashy. And so my flashy was I added I didn't add, but I bought a shirt that had little rhinestones that look like diamonds on it. And I'm like, OK, it was still Gray. But I have the little embellishments. But then I got brave and I bought or I asked for a pair of shoes for my birthday. Cause I love the Wizard of Oz and I love glitter, so I asked for a pair of tennis shoes that were red glittered, so they're sparkly and I got them for my birthday, and I love wearing them. They make me smile every time I put them on.
Hilary: That's awesome. See, but I like that because I think so often when we make these New Year's goals, we tend to go real big, like I'm going to go from not exercising at all to exercising five days a week. Yeah, or I'm going to go from eating all the holiday crap that I just spent the last two months eating to only fruits and vegetables. Yeah. And I and I think to myself like we are shooting ourselves in the foot by doing something like that. So, I like this idea because it's really easy to incorporate small things like. Yeah, I'm not going to come to the office. I'm not going to wear to the office a pink hot pink jumpsuit. But what I can do is I can pick a gray sweatshirt with a few rhinestones, because that's a start, right? Yeah and build up from there, so starting small I think is a smart thing to do when it comes to these things.
Jen: We just feel like this is a lot more fun to do it this way than.
Hilary: Ohh totally.
Jen: Then a SMART goal
Hilary: And I love the idea of sitting down with your family, like as a whole and saying, alright guys, kids give me all your thoughts. Let's pick the word for the year, right. Something that we're going to work on all year long and then maybe addressing that word at your, you know, at your family dinners or your family team meetings, whatever time you have. Where you come together as a family to say. All right, what have we done the past few weeks, right. Are there any new things that we can incorporate? Right. Like, let's make adjustments to this word and tell me how things are going. So, I love the idea of having kind of this common mission that we can have together to help build that union too.
Jen: A mission of fun.
Hilary: Yeah, yeah. And maybe that's the word, right? Maybe we've decided over time that our family, we spend a lot of time independently and we don't spend a lot of time together as a family. So maybe that's the theme is fun and we make a goal to we have more fun together as a family. Whether that be actually talking to each other at the dinner table, right? And maybe we incorporate a few family activities or we maybe we plan a vacation during the summer. Like there's lots of things you could do with that. That's cool. Very cool. I love it. I like this. I am, I love New Year's resolutions and I love goals, but I am not good at it. I'm not and so I like this idea I really do. I'm going to work on this for the year.
Jen: Well, I'm excited to hear what your theme is, once you figure it out.
Hilary: I know I've got to figure it out now though. That's cool. It's good.
Jen: Alright, well hopefully this was helpful for you and it's a little bit easier and a little bit more positive then you know, feeling like we're going to fail at a smart goal and this can help us get out of our comfort zone and take care of ourselves. In whatever way we feel like that is needed. Well, I thank you for coming and listening today. We hope that you are, you had great holidays, you know. You had a lot of fun and we wish you all the best in the upcoming year. Remember to be patient and kind with yourselves and we will see you back here next week.
Thank you for listening to the Parents Place podcast. If you would like to reach us, you can at parents@ thefamilyplaceyouutah.org or you can reach Jen on Facebook. Jen Daly – The Family Place. Please check out. Our show notes for any additional information, our website is the familyplaceutah.org if you're interested in any of our upcoming virtual classes, we'd love to see you there.
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